story

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That time I got it all wrong…

Story time:

That time I got it all wrong…

It was 2012 and I had this wild, audacious idea that I was going to start an online business around books: writing them, publishing them, launching them.

After all, I had a degree in Creative Writing, five books of my own (including a runaway bestseller,) and a deep NEED to leave my dad’s tax practice (where I’d been working for the last ten years.)

A chance email from Ali Brown – who I’d followed for YEARS at that point after taking her pilot course about creating an ezine – led me to THE woman I needed: Lisa Sasevich. Now, Lisa is known for teaching her “Speak to Sell” course… But what she was launching in that moment was “Five Figure Teleseminars” (the ‘webinar’ bit was added later – this was in 2012 and webinars just weren’t a thing yet.)

I sat ENRAPTURED through a 3-hour livestream. Then I ran into Dad’s office demanding his credit card because I was going to buy a $997 course on how to take my “how to publish for Kindle” idea and put it online. My dad, being the supportive man he is, handed over the card without a word.

On her live calls, Lisa kept talking about her event, coming up that October. It was in Southern California (driving distance!) and I had a bonus ticket from being in her class (score!) All I had to do was get there…

What that REALLY meant was finding the money to get DAD and I there. I won’t drive on Southern California freeways. I’ll fast-forward through the gritty details and tell you, we made it.

Now, if you’ve been around me at all, you’ll know that it took THREE YEARS of listening to Lisa make her offer to join her in Sassy, her year-long mastermind, before I said yes. Three YEARS of going home crying because I didn’t take her up on the offer…

But while this IS the first time I heard the offer, this story isn’t about “regret” in not joining Sassy.

Because after she made her oh-so-desired offer to invest $18k in her year-long program, I was in sticker shock. I had NO CLUE that people would ask – or invest – that much. Kim of 2012 decided she’d raise that money – someday.

And then Lisa did something magical…

She laid out what it would take to CREATE an online business – all the steps. And HANDED ME A WORKSHEET.

Looking back, after having DONE events, I know two things:

1. That was actually designed to say “look how HARD this is. Let me guide you!” and as a last pitch to join Sassy.

2. I got it 100% wrong.

Because I thought I had this ROAD MAP. I thought it was clear. I took that worksheet and ran. I was a MONSTER at creating the “things” on it so I too could be successful.

I LOVE a good checklist. I love my to do lists. I love writing things down just so I can check them off. I love ADDING things I’ve done – so I can cross them off.

Now we fast forward three years. Three years of dutifully crossing things off this “Master Plan” that Lisa had given me. I had FINALLY joined Sassy. I had left Dad’s tax practice the year before and was full-time in my business – and 100% supporting myself. Ben and I had JUST bought our house together.

I was sitting in my first every Sassy retreat – in Southern California. (Yes, I went by myself. It’s amazing what you can do when you realize that Dad The Chauffeur isn’t the ONLY way to get there!) And Lisa brought it out… The Worksheet. The roadmap I’d been following for all those years.

And I had a startling realization.

I had done a GREAT job creating all the THINGS that were on the worksheet. Stuff like my optin gift, emailing my list, lining up affiliates, creating my signature talk, having a preview call, etc.

But what I had COMPLETELY MISSED was that these weren’t just THINGS. They weren’t a box of spoons – each one identical and equal.

They were SUPPOSED to be a framework. A system. They BUILT a business – IF they worked together. If they were done in ORDER.

{insert wild cussing here}

No WONDER I was still struggling. I had done the online business equivalent of tossing spaghetti at a wall. What stuck were clients (yay) but MOST of it hit the ground. Enough that I WAS supporting myself.

But not enough that I could EVER stop the hustle. I had pieces but no structure.

Really hard to actually create a functioning online business.

Are you getting that sinking feeling too?

The one that says, “I think I’m doing this too.”

Not about your online business (if you have one.) But about your book.

Because it’s a HUGE myth that all you need to do is “sit down at a typewriter and bleed” (Hemmingway) to write a book.

Writing a book DOES take, well, writing.

But it doesn’t START at the computer. Writing a book doesn’t START with… writing.

(Most people follow that initial burst of inspiration. But it wears off and then what?)

I want to give you the plan to write your book. And I want to MAKE SURE you fully understand Step 1. Together. In person. Where you can ask questions, get feedback, NOT BE CONFUSED.

That’s what we’re doing at “Brew Your Book – Live! Stop “Percolating” on Your Message and FINALLY Write Your Book.”

You need to be there. Yes, this IS a live event. Yes, it takes travel – and it’s 100% fine if YOU need to convince YOUR dad to drive you there! (In fact, you can bring a friend at a wicked-amazing discounted rate.)

But you need to be there.

Even if YOU get it “wrong” – think of all the progress you’ll make on your book.

(This is a small intimate room of up to 30 people. I’ll make sure you don’t get it “wrong.” Lisa’s room was 300+; it’s not her fault I didn’t understand. She couldn’t see my face in the crowd! That will NOT be your experience at MY event.)

Coming OUT of your normal environment and traveling, being in a room with me for three days, letting me pour into you (and feed you), and hearing from your fellow authors will be life changing.

Register Here.

Because, no matter what, YOUR message matters. And it’s time to finally write your book and share your message with the world.

P.S. I don’t even have a PICTURE from me at that event. I was too shy to stand in line to take a picture with Lisa. But at “Brew Your Book – LIVE!” I will really get to know YOU – so you won’t be too shy to get a picture with me!

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Stories Are How We Interact with the World

I read. A lot.

That’s hundreds of thousands of words each year that I consume. Want to know what keeps me scrolling down or flipping pages?

Stories.

(And no, I don’t only read fiction! I mostly read non-fiction, actually.)

What I’ve discovered through my years of working with non-fiction authors is that very few actually understand the power of story – and know how to harness that power to keep readers turning pages, to make the messages sink in, to make their words have significance and impact.

Stories are how we interact with the world – not just the 1, 2, 3 of plot but the emotion that a well-crafted story can invoke. So then why, for heaven’s sake, aren’t more non-fiction writer’s getting on board with story?

Stories are how we interact with the world. Are you telling stories in your writing? Click To Tweet

Earlier this year, I was working with a client on a fascinating project about inner wisdom – how to listen to it, how to let it guide you. Fascinating and much-needed topic that was being addressed in ways I’d never seen before.

Keep Reading!

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Do Stories REALLY Create Connection to Your Reader?

Maybe this is you:

You’ve written MOST of your book. You’ve poured your heart, soul, and your best teaching into the book.

You’ve explained your concepts.

Then you’ve said, “In other words…”

And you’ve explained your concepts again.

That draft is nearly done – and it’s damn good. The writing is tight, sparse even, and every word counts.

But now…

You’ve got me, whispering in your ear. Whispering about… storytelling. Telling you that your hard-won book isn’t going to be effective, that the writing you’ve done, while brilliant, won’t actually make the difference in your reader’s life that you want it to make.

And you’re a little bit angry at me.

But mostly… you’re a little bit worried that I’m right. That your book ISN’T what you wanted it to be – the book that can change a life – but you’re not 100% sure how to take it from where you are now to where you want it to be.

Are stories the missing piece?

My darling fellow author, I would never tell you to do something if it didn’t matter! When was the last time I fussed at you about learning better grammar? Um… never! Why? Because THAT can be fixed in editing.

What can’t be fixed is the lack of stories. They aren’t something you can shoehorn in, after the fact.

How do I know?

First off, I have a degree in Creative Writing from the University of Arizona. So yes, I’ve done the studying of writing and storytelling in a University setting. I’ve also attended writer’s conferences around the world and studied writing with some of the top names in current literary work.

I’ve written more than 20 books OF MY OWN. The ones that outsell the others, that get the best reviews, and that have people contacting me – even years later – are the ones with the most stories. The “cut-and-dry” ones are just that… dry.

But more than that, I’ve got thousands of articles under my belt. Yes, thousands. I used to blog nearly daily at TheOutdoorPrincess.com (which… kinda still exists. More on the tech stuff in a day or two.)

Plus NINE YEARS of writing to you, here. At least weekly, often times more.

People will TELL you that they want cut-and-dry articles, pithy things like: Five Ways to Keep Readers Turning Pages (and then a short article with JUST the five ways.)

But here’s the thing:

Search engines may love that crap.

But PEOPLE don’t.

People want to connect. They want to know you’re a real person – with strengths, weaknesses, idiosyncrasies, dreams, hobbies, and flaws. They want to read your word and feel like they know YOU.

My least-received articles are the bland, here are your steps, articles.

Keep Reading!

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Kim’s Tips for Better Storytelling (Part 3 of 3)

Part 1: What we can learn from movies (and translate to the page)

Part 2: Describing your emotions for the benefit of the reader

I really believe that STORY is the key to unlocking the change you want to see in your reader. You’re NOT writing your book to hear yourself talk or to prove your own expertise. You’re writing your book to HELP your reader.

And you are the expert. You do know your stuff.

But in order to translate that information from your heart, soul, and brain to the reader’s life, you’ve got to use a language she can hear and understand (and remember!)

That’s where STORY comes it. It’s the universal language because it deals in emotions.

Along with “Show, don’t tell” another adage of good storytelling is “Start in the action.”

Which is a fancy way of reminding authors that we RARELY need all the backstory and leadup. Which I totally agree with.

And I also acknowledge that starting in the middle can feel… abrupt. Not to the reader, but to the author. Because we WANT to describe it, we want to set the stage, we want to make sure the reader isn’t feeling lost, confused, or left behind.

However… readers are a lot smarter than we give them credit for! They rarely need all that backstory.

Seriously.

Storytelling Technique Three: Starting In The Middle

Part 1: Tell the story of a fight that you had with one other person.

Seems simple and straightforward, right?

After giving this assignment to DOZENS of my VIP clients, with the additional instructions of “don’t give any leadup or backstory,” I find that it’s still really hard to do.

Deep breathe, my fellow author! You can do it!

Start your story in the middle of the action! Storytelling tip 3 of 3 Click To TweetFor this story of a fight – be it verbal or physical – I want you to start after the first angry word is said, the first punch is thrown.

Or in my case and an ex-boyfriend, the moment I threw a frozen pizza at him! Keep Reading!

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Kim’s Tips for Better Storytelling (Part 2 of 3)

Last week, we kicked off this 3-part series with how to extract storytelling techniques from movies and apply them to your writing. Read Part 1 Here.

As a non-fiction author, you might think that your storytelling can be abbreviated and you can get away with TELLING the reader, rather than SHOWING the reader.

After all… you’re not writing a novel, something to be read for pure entertainment, right?

Think again.

Because your reader will forget your catchy acronyms and 5-step process. What they won’t forget is the feelings you invoked in them – and through those feelings, they’ll be able to tap into the lessons you’re trying to impart.

One of the biggest places where authors fall down in their storytelling is when you THINK you are showing the reader what you’re experiencing (as narrator) but you’re really TELLING the reader.

“Show, don’t tell” is one of the cardinal rules of storytelling. But that doesn’t meant that citing that cliché at an author means that it’s instantly understood HOW to do this.

Storytelling Technique Two: Describing Emotions

For today’s exercise, we’re returning to the movie you watched last week – and I want you to think of a scene where the character(s) were experiencing an emotion. You, the viewer, KNEW what emotion, but the actor never announced it like:

I’m so mad!
I’m so happy!
I’m so sad!
I’m so anxious.

Announcing that you’re mad, happy, sad, anxious, etc., is just that:

An announcement.

It makes little impact on the reader.

Why?

Because everybody experiences emotions differently. Notice I didn’t say FEELS emotions; I said EXPERIENCES emotions.

Everybody experiences emotions differently. HOW you describe that experience creates impact for the reader. Click To Tweet

Keep Reading!

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Kim’s Tips for Better Storytelling (Part 1 of 3)

If you’ve been around me for any length of time, you’ll now I have two guiding principles for any of the “how to write your book” work that I do:

1. Your Message Matters

2. Stories Are Key

And while I talk about message a lot, I’m not sure I share enough about storytelling.

Here’s a truth bomb for you:

Facts tell. Stories sell.

(I got that pithy saying from my time in network marketing. And while, yes, it is a soundbite, it’s also very true!)

But more than SELLING, stories make your reader FEEL. And when you trigger an emotion in your reader, they will REMEMBER.

Because they WILL forget that system that you spent all that time trying to create a catchy name for. They won’t remember your fancy acronyms – even IF you can make the acronym word and your system fit together perfectly.

(Seriously, here! I could have sweated over making MY 5-part system fit into the acronym WRITE. But the truth is, you wouldn’t remember the steps anyway. What my clients DO remember are the stories I use to illustrate each part of each step. And that, my friend, is what your readers will remember too.)

Stories make your reader FEEL. And when you trigger an emotion in your reader, they will REMEMBER. Click To Tweet

But it’s not just telling stories…

It’s HOW to tell them. This is the first part of a 3-part series with three techniques you can put into place TODAY to improve your storytelling skills. (No Creative Writing degree required!)

Storytelling Technique One: Watch a Movie.

Yep, I mean it. But I don’t mean to watch it for blind entertainment. I mean to really dissect it for the storytelling.

For this exercise, I recommend something OTHER than action, horror, or comedy (gasp!) because you want to have a good plotline and story drama to dissect. You’ll be watching the movie a few times, each time examining a different aspect of storytelling so pick something that you enjoy AND that has more than great explosions, creepy-crawlies popping out of closets, or a laugh-track.

I ALSO recommend avoiding movies that were based on books IF you’ve read the book. (If you haven’t read the book, then you’re looking at just the movie’s storytelling, and that’s okay!)

1. First, just watch the movie. This is where you get to just ENJOY it.

  • Even if you’ve seen it before, watch it just to refresh yourself and enjoy whatever it is about that movie that you like.
  • Make popcorn!

Keep Reading!

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Boring Writing Is NOT Impactful

Being boring is the kiss of death to your book. Your reader won’t finish your book and IF they can read it at all, they won’t retain the message you’re trying to share.

My advice:

Don’t be boring.

I just wrapped up a 5-Day Writing Challenge that was ALL about how to use stories in your writing so that you can connect—heart to heart—with your reader.

In a nutshell, it was all about how NOT to be boring. Story-based writing is key to making sure readers keep turning pages so they can experience your message and so your words can touch their lives.

What Makes a Boring Book?

It’s when your reader can’t relate to the material; it doesn’t feel relevant, they can’t imagine themselves in that same situation. There’s no emotional engagement.

And when you’re not grabbing the heart of the reader… you’re certainly not grabbing her mind.

All those beautiful goals you have for her transformation won’t happen because she can’t implement what you’re trying to teach her.

Notice I said can’t.

Not won’t.

She wants the transformation you’re offering. She wants it with both hands, on her knees praying for change.

But if you can’t connect to her soul, she can’t implement the change.

And before you start to cite your flashy acronyms or trademarked 5- or 7-step systems, I want you to tell me about one of those systems YOU’VE learned, memorized, and use.

I can’t do it, even with all the tens of thousands of dollars I’ve spent in my education.

Keep Reading!

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