motivation

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Is Writing Your Guilty Pleasure?

Does your writing time feel like a “guilty pleasure”?

I get it. In a day that is filled with obligations – clients, family, chores, deadlines, bills to pay, trash to put out – anything that is for yourself can get pushed to the backburner. While we’re hammered from every side to “make time for self care” and we’re conscious of the need to eat, exercise, drink enough water, get enough sleep, and make time for play, it can be hard to justify time for writing your book.

Suddenly, that “I HAVE to write this book to share my message so that I can help people” drive … twists.

You’re called to write the book and yet, at the first hint of enjoyment in the writing process, writing your book suddenly becomes a “guilty pleasure.”

And it suddenly becomes oh-so-hard to find the time to write.

You find yourself writing in the evenings, not because there was “no time” to write during the day, but because you couldn’t JUSTIFY using the hours in your work day to concentrate on your project.

Me too.

I enjoy writing. I enjoy almost everything that I write – if that’s a client project, launch copy, a sales page, even posts for Facebook. It brings me pleasure. And it’s easy to do when I can justify spending the time because it’s “for a client.” Even this, my weekly article and newsletter, brings me great pleasure. And it’s easy to justify that I’m allowed to write it during work hours because it is for you, my beloved newsletter list.

Keep Reading!

5 Tips to Write More; Procrastinate Less

Following last week’s article about boosting your creativity, we need to talk about procrastination. There’s a line between waiting for inspiration to strike and sitting down to write – with or without the ever-illusive… inspiration.

When I was in college, my mom gave me a poster that said,

If your ship hasn’t come in, swim out to meet it.

And inspiration is a lot like that! Some days, you just won’t be feeling it. I’m sorry, it’s true. As a mom, MOST days I’m not feeling it when it comes to the Triple B’s (bath, books, bed.) I just want to skip ahead to the BED part and be done with it.

But as soon as the kids are happily splashing away – or as soon as we’re cuddled up with a book – it’s not so bad.

Here my PROVEN tips for beating procrastination in your writing!

1. Turn OFF Social Media
Do you remember life before Facebook, Instagram, Tiktok, and all the OTHER social distractions? I do! I remember when the Internet wasn’t always “ON” but was a privilege we bought as 100 minutes a month for $100 a month!

If you were still paying for Internet by the minute, I guarantee you’d spend a lot less time cruising Facebook!

There are a dozen apps that you can install that will lock you out of social media – if you need that. For me, just closing the Facebook tab is enough. (And I do NOT have the Facebook messenger app installed on my phone!) I’ve ALSO turned off all notifications (especially the sounds) for all my social media accounts. When you don’t have those “dings” chirping at you a million times a day, it’s easier to ignore your online social life.

If you need one more reason:

Take a look at the feed of somebody who’s life you envy. The one who looks PERFECT from the outside. The one who is always organized, lives in a neat and tidy house that is color-coordinated, and ALWAYS finishes projects. Then imagine that their life IS perfect… It’s exactly how it looks from the outside.

Wouldn’t you rather be the friend that OTHER friends are envious of – because of your PUBLISHED BOOK? Be the role model for getting.it.done so your other friends can think YOUR life is perfect. (It won’t be perfect, but having your book written and published can be the truth!)

2. Hone your Bullsh*t meter for when you’re working (or not!)
How often is your “research” just a fancy way of procrastinating? I completely understand that for most of us, especially writing non-fiction, a certain amount of research IS required.

But are you focused?
Is it necessary before you move on?

Or are you following the rabbit holes of the Internet and gobbling down click bait the way bugs eat insect poison… and then die leaving piles of little insect corpses in the corner of the room?

Because, trust me, watching a TV show is NOT research even if it IS remotely related to your topic… Here’s an advanced tip when you’re procrastinating your dreams: Imagine the actors in your FAVORITE show or movie. Imagine all they had to do to get to where they are. Send them an energetic “Thank You” for the entertainment they’ve brought you. Now imagine what YOUR life would be like if that same actor hadn’t pursued their dream… YOUR life would be the poorer for it – and by not writing, you’re making your reader’s life poorer!

3. Organize your space – then keep it that way!
Ahhhh, the clean desk. It has been proven that we do better in an environment that is neat and visually pleasing. So, take the time – the hour, the afternoon, the weekend and ORGANIZE your writing space.

Then keep it that way!

(This is me laughing at my own advice!)

Keep Reading!

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Three Lessons from a Dead Pine Tree

A few weeks ago, we had to have a beautiful, mature White Pine tree cut down. It had died in a combination of not enough water last summer and an insect or disease. Living in Arizona, mature trees are a huge value-add for our property AND take at least 20 years to get big.

I was heartbroken.

And guilty. Because I’M the one in charge of watering our landscaping. And frankly, last summer when the death knoll was rung, I was just too sick, dizzy, and pregnant to attend to this duty. (And Ben was away for work.)

There are some lessons to learn here:

1. Doors do close when you wait too long

I kept thinking: I’ll water it tomorrow. I KNEW that tree was stressed. But it was just “too hard” to go pull the hose out to it.

And now, it’s dead, cut down, and turning back into mulch at the dump. By the time I got around to it, it was too late to save the tree.

So when is it too late to start your book?

Honestly, much like trees, the BEST time to have written your book was “before” – last year, the year before, some time in the past.

And in facing the aftermath of the surgery-gone-sideways last October, I have had a personal glimpse into the danger of “later”.

It is NOT too late to start your book. Now is a PERFECT time.

Made all the sweeter by the knowledge that NOW is the last time you can enroll in the “Finally Write Your Book VIP Mentorship” at the current investment level. Because on May 1, that deal ends and the group will kick off on May 3.

Learn More Here and Enroll

2. Trees, like books, create legacy

We purchased this house six years ago (next month!) partly because of the beautiful mature trees. In fact, when we were touring the house, there was a picture of Mel, the previous owner, crouching next to a freshly planted evergreen tree. Was it THAT tree? I don’t know. But I thank her, and her husband, Burt, for every tree they planted.

Especially when, decades later, MY children are the recipients of a shady place to play.

I never met Burt and Mel. But I know their daughter and niece. (I’ve actually known their niece MOST of my life! Small world!)

These trees and the property are a legacy they left behind.

Books are also a legacy.

Keep Reading!

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It’s Your Book – WRITE It!

I can’t write your book for you.

There, I said it. Whew!

Occasionally, I still get people who want to hire me to ghostwrite their book for them. I even get people who aren’t turned off by the $30K starting price.

But where they inevitably freak out is learning that even with MY fingers on the keys, they are still responsible for writing the book.

That means that the client (author) still has a lot of work involved. It’s still THEIR vision – their stories, their message, and they have to decide if I’m capturing their voice… or not.

Hiring a true ghostwriter, no matter how skilled, isn’t book-by-abdication. You (the author) still has to be MASSIVELY involved.

Here’s the other side of “I can’t write your book for you.”

At some point, you’ll realize that writing a book requires time and effort. You have to find the time to write – and then do it. It’s not a “write a book in a few hours” type of thing – not for the message-driven book you really want to create.

Keep Reading!

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Video: Quitting Day

Did you know that January 19th is also called Quitting Day? It’s the day when all those New Years resolutions, goals, and dreams go right out the window. And people give up.

That sounds TERRIBLE to me.

Since I’m not up to brining you a 90-minute workshop to set your writing goals, like I usually do in January, I recorded you a 9-minute training that will help you keep going in the face of Quitting Day.

And Little Bean makes a cameo!



Here’s the transcript of the video so you can be sure to understand what I’m conveying to you.

Welcome to Quitting Day. That’s right. January 19th is known as Quitting Day. This is the day where you decide to give up all of your happy resolutions and goals, like going out for a jog every day, or having this be the year that where you FINALLY write your book in favor of not… doing it.

I have to tell you, I’m not immune to this myself. I had this goal already this year, 2021, that I was going to listen a personally important podcast, three days a week. And here it is, January 19th, and guess how many times I’ve listened to it?

Big fat I haven’t.

Kind of makes you want to quit, right?

Why on earth do we want to give up nineteen days into the year? Why do we want to write off 2021 because the first nineteen days didn’t go the way you would thought? So what do you want to do? Don’t quit, right?

Here’s what I want you to do.

#1 forgive yourself and let it go.

Yes, the first nineteen days of the year, maybe you did great writing your book for a week, two, and you’ve gotten off track. Guess what? I don’t care. There’s so much left in the year that you shouldn’t care either. So forgive yourself and let it go. Maybe you’re still hung up on the goals you set for yourself in 2020, but didn’t do, or just what you wanted to do already this year. Let it go.

#2 I want you to set an amazing impossible goal for yourself.

Are you ready? Write seven days a week.

Yes, this is an impossible goal.

You’re not going to be able to write seven days a week from now until the end of the year. But here’s the importance of this “impossible” goal. Number one, it really gets you into motion. It really allows you to see what you can do if you tell yourself you’re going to write every day. Are you going to write every day? Of course, you’re not going to write every day. You’re not. But it gives you the opportunity to circle back to number one, forgive yourself, let it go, and start again. Now, if you followed me for any length of time, you know I have talked about the importance of mini goals.

So what’s a mini goal? A mini goal very simply is deciding that you’re going to rate every single day.

And here’s the way I like to break it down, that you’re either going to write 15 minutes a day at a minimum or a half a page at a minimum. And then you do it every single day because I’m not asking you to write pages and pages and hours and hours, it’s just something that can slot in. Everybody can find 15 minutes, even busy moms like me. But here’s the thing. What happens when you miss a day? Let it go and do it again the next day. A mini goal is not, and I’m going to repeat this for those in the back, a mini goal is not, “Oh, I missed a day. Tomorrow, I have to write half an hour instead of 15 minutes.” No, it isn’t. You don’t catch up, you just let it go and start again. I’ll pop a link in the comments on this video, in the description on this video for a whole article that I wrote about the power of mini goals. And I talk about these all the time.

#3 tools in order to be successful.

To make 2021 the year you finally write your book, and to give you some strength and space to get past Quitting Day, you need some tools.

Tool number one… shocking, pens, right? You don’t have to have fancy software. You don’t even have to use your computer. Don’t overcomplicate this, my friends. Grab your phone and do notes on your phone. I don’t typically recommend that one, but if that’s the one that works for you, go for it. Pen and paper is always my go-to. Use your computer. You don’t need fancy software, and you don’t need a fancy ritual.

Tool number two… my handy-dandy 15 minutes sand timer. Why do I prefer a sand timer as opposed to the timer on your phone? Here’s the awesome thing about a sand timer. When this runs out, it doesn’t make a noise. So when you are in the flow and you look up, you have no clue how much is really left on the sand timer, and you keep writing. And then you get into this writing flow when you’re writing and writing and writing, and you look up and the sand timer is empty.

Now, the only time I prefer a noisy timer over a silent timer is if you’re running up against the bookend like, “Oh, I have to stop in 17 minutes because I have a call. OR I’ve got to go pick up my kids from school. OR I have an appointment.” That’s the time when you need a noisy timer to click you on out, right?

Tool number three… The Writer’s Goal Setting Workbook, A Step-By-Step Process to Getting Your Writing Done. And this workbook, which is in full color, my loves, and these are tracking sheets for your mini goals. I wrote this by the way, and I wrote it just for you.

This is not a, “Write your book in this workbook,” type of workbook. This is a, “How do we release all of that history of letting yourself down, of not doing it, of saying that you were going to do it, and you didn’t, specifically around your writing?” And then looking at what are your writing goals? How much do you want to accomplish? Why? Why is this so important? Plus, you have all of this tracking for the mini goals, releasing any past writing trauma. And here’s the most amazing thing.

When you do not give in to Quitting Day, then it makes this the year that you finally write your book.

Happy January 19th. Don’t be a quitter.

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Guest Post: Stephanie Calahan

Baby Girl Galloway is just over a week old! To make my life a bit easier, I’ve reached out to some of the best voices in my sphere of influence and asked them to share their wisdom with you. Each guest author was chosen because I KNOW you’ll learn something from them.

 

Is This Visibility Block Keeping You From Writing Your Book?

Many authors, coaches, and other high achievers have a sneaky mind gremlin lurking in their writing space.

Deep down, they feel like they are not enough, that they don’t know enough, that they don’t fit in, or maybe they even feel like complete frauds and know that someone will find them out at any minute.

If this feels familiar, you are in good company. Dr. Maya Angelou, Albert Einstein, Sheryl Sandberg, Amy Cuddy, Shonda Rhimes, Neil Gaiman, Lupita Nyong’o, Padma Lakshmi, Jodie Foster, Tina Fey, and Joyce Roche have all expressed similar feelings.

This type of Visibility Block is called Impostor Syndrome, and it impacts over 70% of the population and can stop you, your writing, and your business in its tracks.

What Is Impostor Syndrome?

Impostor Syndrome reflects a belief or a collection of beliefs that you are inadequate and/or incompetent despite evidence that says you are quite skilled and successful.

The beliefs vary from person to person, but they all contribute to the idea that you are somehow not worthy.

“Every time I was called in class, I was sure that I was about to embarrass myself. Every time I took a test, I was sure that it had gone badly. And every time I didn’t embarrass myself–or even excelled–I believed that I had fooled everyone yet again. One day soon, the jig would be up… This phenomenon of capable people being plagued by self-doubt has a name–the Impostor Syndrome.” Sheryl Sandberg, Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead

For some, the symptoms are short-term, such as when they are taking on a new job. For others, it is a chronic condition that keeps them from reaching their goals their whole lives.

“I don’t just study impostorism, I experience it. And I didn’t just experience it, I inhabited it. It was like a little house I lived in. Of course, no one else knew I was there. It was my secret. It nearly always is. That’s how impostorism gets such a good grip–it pays you hush money. If you don’t tell anyone about those feelings, then people are less likely to think, ‘Hmm…maybe she really doesn’t deserve to be here.’ No need to give them any ideas, right?” Amy Cuddy, Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges

Studies have found that it is common in men and women in a multitude of fields and niches. Students, people who work alone, people who are members of marginalized groups, people in rapidly changing fields (e.g. tech and medicine), and people in fields that are creative in nature (e.g. speaking, music, writing, etc.) have an even more prevalent occurrence of it.

Impostor Syndrome is becoming more prevalent too. The more we use social media, the easier it is to get caught up comparing ourselves to others, and often that comparison is not helpful or accurate. We end up creating stories in our minds about others’ success and allow ourselves to get intimidated.

Signs You May Have Impostor Syndrome

Keep Reading!

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Writing Time vs. Thinking Time (OR How to Squeeze Extra Writing Time Out of Your Day)

There comes a point when each of my Finally Write Your Book VIP Mentorship Clients looks at the calendar and freaks out over how much they still want to write on their book and the time they have left in the program.

Sound familiar?

Here’s the tip I give them to squeeze “extra” writing time out of the day:

Think More.

Yep, think more.

This isn’t WORRY more. It’s not beat yourself up because you’re not writing in this very moment.

Imagine what could happen if you re appropriated “wasted” time in your day to be planning what you’ll work on in your next writing session.

Here’s an example:

Say you’re going to write a story about that time you screwed up at work. You know you need to get yourself back into the moment:

  • What were you feeling?
  • What was said? By whom?
  • How did you get to the moment of screw up?
  • What happened next?

Not to mention the other details:

  • Where were you?
  • What did that place look like? Smell like? Sound like?
  • What were you wearing?
  • Who was there?
  • What did they say, do, wear?
Move your Thinking Time out of your Writing Time - and see your word count go up! Click To Tweet

Putting all of these details in are how your reader engages and feels emotion. And because it’s non-fiction, you can’t just make up. You’ve got to bring out the pertinent details (and invent what you don’t remember clearly.)

Keep Reading!

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