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Part 2: Why You Shouldn’t Write A Book (or What to Do When Your Business Coach Tells You it’s Time to Write a Book)

Last week I told you that you shouldn’t write a book – read that here.

Today, I want to share another reason why you should NOT write a book – and it goes hand-in-hand with the “because someone told your story should be a book.”

The other time you should NOT write a book is as a feather-in-your-cap moment. As in, you’ve got a coach, mentor, or advisor telling you that you’ve reached a certain level of fame and it’s time to write your book.

Oh that just makes me cringe!

Now I firmly believe that books are great to build your credibility and expertise. Being a published author is GREAT cred.

Why You Shouldn’t Write A Book (or What to Do When Your Business Coach Tells You it’s Time to Write a Book) Click To TweetBut only if you’re writing your book because YOU want to – because you’re ready to share your message.

Years ago, I edited a book for a client. And let me tell you friend… it was BORING. Like dry-as-dust boring. If I wasn’t being PAID to read it… I would have stopped.

When I asked her, gently, about WHY she wanted to write a book (because I was going to offer my writing coaching to help her out!) she told me:

I’m at the place in my business I just SHOULD write a book.

You figured that out correctly: she had no burning desire to write her book. It was just another thing to check off – like creating a sales page, opt-in gift, or setting up a social media profile.

No WONDER the book was so boring – there was ZERO heart in it.

After a few lackluster sales, the book slipped into Amazon oblivion.

Keep Reading!

Part 1: Why You Shouldn’t Write A Book

Ahhhh…

“Should”

The word that killed a thousand dreams and launched a million failed projects.

Typically, when personal development folks start going on about “should” they talk about how you’re “shoulding all over yourself” i.e. you’re beating yourself up about the things you should do, should have done, should be doing, should not have done, should not be doing.

(Take a moment to ponder the grammar in that sentence and freak out about verb tense. I’ll wait.)

And while I’m definitely NOT a personal development guru or self-help expert, I mostly understand what they’re saying:

That SHOULD kills your momentum and dreams. Do it (or don’t) but stop shoulding yourself.

Greaaaaat.

Now let’s talk about how “should” functions in MY world.

It goes like this:

You’re having a great time, chatting with a new friend or acquaintance. You’re telling a story about something that has happened in your life – good or bad – and they’re hanging on every word.

Your verbal storytelling skills are spot-on. You’ve probably told this story so many times before, you know just how to deliver the emotional punch lines, where to speed up, where to slow down. How to change your voice inflection, how to gauge your listener – and make adjustments to your voice, story, and pace to KEEP them hooked.

And then…

And then…

And then…

You get it:

“That was GREAT! You should write a book.”

{Insert dramatic sigh and pregnant pause here.}

Telling a great story to a live audience does NOT mean you should write a book. Or that THIS story should be in the book, the basis of a book, or belongs anywhere except where you’ve already delivered it – live, verbal, and to your listener. Keep Reading!

When is it TIME to write your book?

Time.

It’s been on my mind lately and the topic of MULTIPLE conversations.

With a client:

Moving your thinking time (i.e., recalling details about an event to write a story) OUT of your writing time so when you sit down to write, you’re ready.

With a colleague:

It’s not FINDING an ADDITIONAL 20 minutes in my day for self-care, it’s using time that already exists in a new way. A “crack” of time. (She’s working on a great new product, I’ll share it with you when it’s ready.)

With Ben:

Yes, you can start a podcast – but not right now. You’re maxed out! Nothing bad will happen if you return the equipment to Amazon and re-order in a few months when you’re ACTUALLY ready (and have the time.)

With Small Thing:

You’re tired. It’s bedtime. GO TO BED.

Okay that last one might not REALLY be about time! It’s not usually a fight to get him to go to bed but it was last night… He was 30 minutes late to go to bed and was OUT within minutes of getting tucked in.

For much of my life, I’ve seen TIME as an enemy. There was never enough of it.

Sound familiar?

There have been periods in my life, mentors in my life, who preached that nearly every waking moment should be spent DOING THE THING, in income producing activities, go-go-Go-GO-GOOOOOOO!

Enough already.

Here are my (current) top four tips for time (to write):

1. Move your thinking time out of your writing time.

So you know you need to write the story about that AMAZING birthday party you had. But it was YEARS ago and all the happy memories and warm feelings have meshed together and faded. Was that the year you got what you asked for or the year you got what you really wanted and hadn’t asked for? It blends together…

Now that you’ve identified the story you want to write, you need to recall the details. Good news: your mind has them. Bad news: they aren’t RIGHT THERE so you need to think about it.

And the best way to do that thinking is while you’re doing something that doesn’t need your brain. Showering. Dishes. Laundry. Stretching. Going for a walk. Maybe while you’re driving (just not in traffic!)

And then, when you sit down to write, you’ve already done the thinking to recall all the details!

2. Using cracks of time – wisely.

I am NOT saying to never rest or ALWAYS multitask.

Keep Reading!

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Progress Isn’t Failure

I got a really GREAT email in my inbox yesterday:

Hey, Kim!

Well, it’s almost the end of January.

How ya doin’ on those resolutions?

Did you start the year with so much enthusiasm that THIS would be the year you FINALLY got a handle on whatever “thing” has been dogging you for years?

Only to find… a few days in… it’s a LOT harder than you thought…

I think we’ve all done that. Heck, I did it this year! I started the year pre-planning and scheduling emails, social media posts, the whole nine yards. Weeks out. I used a content planner and everything.

And then… life happened.

The holiday break ended and all our normal activities started up again. Appointments resumed. Deadlines loomed.

And the planning? Well, it flew out the window like so much New Year’s Eve confetti.

She goes on to talk about setting a theme word for the year. (Which I think is powerful; I haven’t picked mine yet.) Read the rest here.

As I was reading this… I thought about MY authors.

I know so many of you set the goal (resolution?) that this is the year you’re going to write your book. No, really, it IS. THIS year. For REAL! You’re REALLY going to do it. THIS year.

Sound familiar?

You’ve got great intentions, lofty goals, and some can-do energy.

The challenge is you just don’t know HOW you’re going to make it happen.

You write for a while, fizzle out, and then…

Get mad at yourself.
Blame yourself.
Beat yourself up.

Worry that you’re wrong, you’ve made a mistake, you’ve wasted time, money, or energy. (Again!)

This is a LOT to unpack so stick with me!

1. Writing a book isn’t a goal you can manifest.

Years ago, I put a picture of a gila monster on my vision board. I’d always wanted to see one in the wild.

And then, coming back from a backpacking trip, there he WAS! On the side of the road – alive – and doing lizard things. I was ELATED! I had manifested seeing him. Right place, right time, right lizard. Completely out of my control.

Writing a book…

You can’t manifest that. No matter how hard you try, it will NOT appear on your hard drive.

So don’t beat yourself up about not “manifesting” your writing desires.

2. Writing a book doesn’t have to make you miserable.

You do not have to suffer. Enjoying it doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.

3. Writing a book IS effort.

Full stop. It takes work, effort, learning, rewrites, time, and then some MORE work, effort, learning, rewrites, and time.

It’s okay to improve. It’s okay to get better. It’s okay to realize that you’re not “good” when you start.

My darling author, I want THIS to be the year of YOUR book. Yes, REALLY, the year.

It starts by looking at PROGRESS – not failure.

Keep track of how you’re doing:

Words added.
Skills gained.
Stories told.

And know that it all adds up.

Then, stay tuned because I’ve got something GREAT headed your way that will help you build those skills so you’re not doing it alone.

Hank Special on The Book Idea Workbook

Happy Friday y’all!

Hank and Rocky had great vet checkups yesterday. Although, remind me to never try to “save time” with a dual appointment again. Two dogs, different sizes, different leash lengths, and different temperaments (Hank = chill, Rocky = neurotic) at the vet, alone, at the same time…

Nope!

Both doggos got a clean bill of health. I was especially glad to hear this for my old-man Rocky. He’s about 11 (so I got him as a 7-week-old rescue, I just never REMEMBER the year!) and he’s really aged in the months since Pete died. But he’s doing great!

I had some questions about Hank. Mainly…

What’s UP with the double dew-claws on both hind legs and how much should this dog eat/weigh.

In my newly acquired Dr. Google Veterinarian Certification, double dew-claws on hind legs is only found in a handful of breeds. And only ONE breed isn’t also extremely hairy. So we’re guessing that his primary breed is…

The Anatolian Shepard!

Hailing from Turkey, this is an ancient dog breed (like Book of Job in the Bible, ancient) and was imported into the USA in the 1970’s to be used as guard dogs for livestock. Not a herding breed, a guard breed. Perfect for sitting in the sun, watching the kids play in the yard. A herding breed would probably be in the thick of it, nipping at them to get them to move. (Not so great with tiny kids.)

A pure-bred can get up to 100 pounds in the males. (Ouch!) But Hank is probably a mix so the vet said he needs to (get this…)

Eat at least 1200 calories a day AND will probably need to weigh about 70 pounds! (He’s a bit underweight coming from the shelter.) He’s already filling out and his coat looks so much better. Must be all that good snugs he gets with Ben…

So remember the “Hank Special” I was offering on the Book Idea Workbook on Tuesday? (10% off, if you missed it.)

Here it is again!

In honor of “missing” quitter’s day AND to raise funds to FEED this huge dog we adopted AND to give you an easy way to get into motion… I’m offering the Hank Special on The Book Idea Workbook. When you go to checkout, enter the coupon code HANK to receive a 10% discount. Valid until 1/24/22.

Book Idea Workbook

I’ve already been asked if we’re going to DNA test Hank to confirm the Google breed research. Nope. He’s 100% Good Dog (and I’ll save the $200 on the test – nothing it could tell me I don’t already know – he’s a GREAT fit for the family!)

Here’s to happy, healthy, and HUGE dogs!

Did You Miss Quitter’s Day?

It’s the 18th of January. How are your writing efforts going so far for the year?

Let me guess:

  • You’re back at your everyday life.
  • Most of the Christmas decorations are safely stored away.
  • You’ve settled in to the “routine” of the 50 weeks out of the year that are NOT around Christmas and New Years.

And you’re occasionally thinking about the goals you set in early January, your goal for your book among them, but you’re not exactly taking action.

Right?

Yep, me too!

Quitter’s day is officially the second Friday in January.

And no, it’s not the day where you think to yourself, “Nope! I’m out. I quit.” And go back to the status quo. But it is the day – or weekend – where the goals you set for yourself quietly start to slip away.

I’ve got the BEST news for you though:

Neither January 1 NOR the second Friday in January ACTUALLY have any power in your life!

Neither one is a magical, mystical, mysterious Start or End date.

They are just that… days. Like any other.

It’s not too late to get into motion for your book (or any other goal!) in 2022. Or even in this year of your life. You’re not too old, the year isn’t too far gone, it’s not too close to the start of Q2 or March Madness or mercury retrograde or vacation season or National Banana Day. (That’s a “real” thing. It’s April 20.)

Keep Reading!

3 Reasons You’re Hung Up on the “Unknowns” of Publishing Your Book (and what to do about it!)

99.9% of people want to KNOW about publishing their book. But only about 15% of them are actually READY to have that conversation. Mostly because the book isn’t done yet! In many cases, an aspiring author wanted to jump straight into asking me all about publishing and they hadn’t even STARTED their book.

Let me make a confession:

I used to accept people into my Assisted Self-Publishing service no matter where they were in the process. Yep, even if the book wasn’t written yet! They’d pay for the publishing services and we’d wait… and wait… and wait…

I finally figured out that this didn’t help ANYBODY. Books weren’t reaching the people they were meant to reach because THEY WEREN’T WRITTEN. Holding space for publishing is all well and good – except for a lot of really cool books, I’m still waiting.

I get it:

Publishing is exciting! It’s the final step in getting your words out into the world.

It’s fun to think about.

You can dream about having your book be on Oprah’s Book Club.

You can think about claiming your moment as a Best-Selling Author.

It IS fun.

But it can also be exactly what’s keeping you stuck, in this moment, and preventing you from writing your book.

There are three reasons why you might be attracted to publishing – and allowing yourself to be stuck and overwhelmed with your book:

1. You’re “Wasting” Time

In your heart of hearts, you know that all this “research” about publishing is a stalling tactic that you’re allowing to keep you from writing your book. You’re deep in the minutia of the publishing industry – and you know, on some level, that you don’t even NEED to know this information.

But continuing to spend endless hours on Google, researching how to publish your book, allows you to convince yourself that you’re “working” on your book.

Even when you know you’re not!

Keep Reading!

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