motivation

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It’s OKAY to Throw Out Ideas that Aren’t Working

I’m in a Facebook group about decluttering and today, there was a post saying:

I use conditioner a lot more quickly than shampoo. I like to change scents so I have multiple partially used bottles of shampoo. Any suggestions for use? I feel bad just tossing it.

The comments have given some… interesting suggestions about how to use the partial bottles with the majority of the suggestions being to mix them or to use them to wash items that are not hair.

WHY am I writing about this?

Because I can 100% see the parallels between these half-used bottles of shampoo and writing. The shampoo is a stand-in for half-done ideas, books that you’ve begun writing and never finished, and even for business courses you’ve purchased but never completed (or never implemented.)

You “feel bad just tossing it.”

When I gave the poster permission TO throw them away… holy moly the storm I stirred up! I was accused of being “very wealthy” and “very wasteful.” To clarify, I DID say that I have no problem only using PART of something and then tossing the rest. I.e. I use the part I wanted, needed, and liked – and the rest goes out the door.

These folks however… holding on to this shampoo and “using” it is a big deal.

Why?

While I’m shuddering at the idea of mixing the bottles (I have a feeling that’s a recipe for damaged hair!) what has me more appalled is the underlying mindset.

Stick with me, I’m digging in.

Right after Small Thing was born I wrote a short-lived series of Writer Mom Chronicles. I had this idea to document my journey as a writer and a mom. A few weeks later, when the C-section was healing and I was sleeping a bit more, the luster of the idea faded.
Keep Reading!

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Why You SHOULDN’T Write a Book

Ahhhh…

“Should”

The word that killed a thousand dreams and launched a million failed projects.

Typically, when personal development folks start going on about “should” they talk about how you’re “shoulding all over yourself” i.e. you’re beating yourself up about the things you should do, should have done, should be doing, should not have done, should not be doing.

(Take a moment to ponder the grammar in that sentence and freak out about verb tense. I’ll wait.)

And while I’m definitely NOT a personal development guru or self-help expert, I mostly understand what they’re saying:

That SHOULD kills your momentum and dreams. Do it (or don’t) but stop shoulding yourself.

Greaaaaat.

Now let’s talk about how “should” functions in MY world.

It goes like this:

You’re having a great time, chatting with a new friend or acquaintance. You’re telling a story about something that has happened in your life – good or bad – and they’re hanging on every word.

Your verbal storytelling skills are spot-on. You’ve probably told this story so many times before, you know just how to deliver the emotional punch lines, where to speed up, where to slow down. How to change your voice inflection, how to gauge your listener – and make adjustments to your voice, story, and pace to KEEP them hooked.

And then…

And then…

And then…

You get it:

“That was GREAT! You should write a book.”

{Insert dramatic sigh and pregnant pause here.}

Telling a great story to a live audience does NOT mean you should write a book. Or that THIS story should be in the book, the basis of a book, or belongs anywhere except where you’ve already delivered it – live, verbal, and to your listener. Keep Reading!

Is “How To PUBLISH?” Keeping You Stuck?

Writing a book is unlike any other process.

Why?

Because you’ve got a series of “gates” to get through. Or thresholds to cross.

And while these are each distinct steps or processes, there is a LOT of bleed through.

(OMG I feel like I’m really mixing my metaphors today. Curse you, brain fog!)

So stick with me here:

The main reason YOU want to write a book is to help people.

Other reasons are dream fulfilment, be seen as an expert, get clients and speaking gigs, have passive income, etc.

So the idea/writing phase can feel easy.

Except…

When you realize that without knowing THIS thing in the editing, publishing, or marketing phase, you simply cannot go on.

And then you get stuck.

Friend, this is ME!

So much me.

One of my first mentors, Lisa Sasevich, was always saying that you build the plane as you fly it. You don’t HAVE to know all the details of every module in your course, when you’re having your calls, or how you’ll deliver the content. Just SELL the transformation and figure the rest out.

Except…

That “it’ll all work out” thinking does NOT work for everybody. I tried so hard to take her advice for my first seminar – back in September 2012. I tried So.Damn.Hard.

Except…

I couldn’t do it. I DID have to know some of the ins and outs, some of the hows and “what’s nexts” before I COULD focus on what I was doing.

Is that you?

If it is, that’s okay! If you’re mired in “how do I publish?” and it’s keeping you from WRITING, here is my two pieces of advice:

1. Buy my all-new product, “The Complete Self-Publishing Toolkit: Easily Format & Publish Your Book for Print & Kindle”

You need those questions answered? (Even if you’re TECHNICALLY not ready to publish?) Here’s your answer!

You’ll get:

  • Exactly how to set up your publishing accounts
  • A pre-formatted template for your book AND videos on how to USE it
  • System to make sure your text is beautiful and typo-free
  • Details on creating your book cover (hint: this is NOT a DIY thing)
  • How to actually GET your book onto Amazon

AND as a bonus, you’ll get how to format your book for Kindle AND my Easy Table of Contents Generator

Plus, it’s just $49.

So grab the product. Dip into it and then your brain can rest – and you get back to writing.

(OH and you get LIFETIME access so if you’re not ready to actually DO the steps for another month, three, or six, you still have it at your fingertips.)

Keep Reading!

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Is Writing Your Guilty Pleasure?

Does your writing time feel like a “guilty pleasure”?

I get it. In a day that is filled with obligations – clients, family, chores, deadlines, bills to pay, trash to put out – anything that is for yourself can get pushed to the backburner. While we’re hammered from every side to “make time for self care” and we’re conscious of the need to eat, exercise, drink enough water, get enough sleep, and make time for play, it can be hard to justify time for writing your book.

Suddenly, that “I HAVE to write this book to share my message so that I can help people” drive … twists.

You’re called to write the book and yet, at the first hint of enjoyment in the writing process, writing your book suddenly becomes a “guilty pleasure.”

And it suddenly becomes oh-so-hard to find the time to write.

You find yourself writing in the evenings, not because there was “no time” to write during the day, but because you couldn’t JUSTIFY using the hours in your work day to concentrate on your project.

Me too.

I enjoy writing. I enjoy almost everything that I write – if that’s a client project, launch copy, a sales page, even posts for Facebook. It brings me pleasure. And it’s easy to do when I can justify spending the time because it’s “for a client.” Even this, my weekly article and newsletter, brings me great pleasure. And it’s easy to justify that I’m allowed to write it during work hours because it is for you, my beloved newsletter list.

Keep Reading!

5 Tips to Write More; Procrastinate Less

Following last week’s article about boosting your creativity, we need to talk about procrastination. There’s a line between waiting for inspiration to strike and sitting down to write – with or without the ever-illusive… inspiration.

When I was in college, my mom gave me a poster that said,

If your ship hasn’t come in, swim out to meet it.

And inspiration is a lot like that! Some days, you just won’t be feeling it. I’m sorry, it’s true. As a mom, MOST days I’m not feeling it when it comes to the Triple B’s (bath, books, bed.) I just want to skip ahead to the BED part and be done with it.

But as soon as the kids are happily splashing away – or as soon as we’re cuddled up with a book – it’s not so bad.

Here my PROVEN tips for beating procrastination in your writing!

1. Turn OFF Social Media
Do you remember life before Facebook, Instagram, Tiktok, and all the OTHER social distractions? I do! I remember when the Internet wasn’t always “ON” but was a privilege we bought as 100 minutes a month for $100 a month!

If you were still paying for Internet by the minute, I guarantee you’d spend a lot less time cruising Facebook!

There are a dozen apps that you can install that will lock you out of social media – if you need that. For me, just closing the Facebook tab is enough. (And I do NOT have the Facebook messenger app installed on my phone!) I’ve ALSO turned off all notifications (especially the sounds) for all my social media accounts. When you don’t have those “dings” chirping at you a million times a day, it’s easier to ignore your online social life.

If you need one more reason:

Take a look at the feed of somebody who’s life you envy. The one who looks PERFECT from the outside. The one who is always organized, lives in a neat and tidy house that is color-coordinated, and ALWAYS finishes projects. Then imagine that their life IS perfect… It’s exactly how it looks from the outside.

Wouldn’t you rather be the friend that OTHER friends are envious of – because of your PUBLISHED BOOK? Be the role model for getting.it.done so your other friends can think YOUR life is perfect. (It won’t be perfect, but having your book written and published can be the truth!)

2. Hone your Bullsh*t meter for when you’re working (or not!)
How often is your “research” just a fancy way of procrastinating? I completely understand that for most of us, especially writing non-fiction, a certain amount of research IS required.

But are you focused?
Is it necessary before you move on?

Or are you following the rabbit holes of the Internet and gobbling down click bait the way bugs eat insect poison… and then die leaving piles of little insect corpses in the corner of the room?

Because, trust me, watching a TV show is NOT research even if it IS remotely related to your topic… Here’s an advanced tip when you’re procrastinating your dreams: Imagine the actors in your FAVORITE show or movie. Imagine all they had to do to get to where they are. Send them an energetic “Thank You” for the entertainment they’ve brought you. Now imagine what YOUR life would be like if that same actor hadn’t pursued their dream… YOUR life would be the poorer for it – and by not writing, you’re making your reader’s life poorer!

3. Organize your space – then keep it that way!
Ahhhh, the clean desk. It has been proven that we do better in an environment that is neat and visually pleasing. So, take the time – the hour, the afternoon, the weekend and ORGANIZE your writing space.

Then keep it that way!

(This is me laughing at my own advice!)

Keep Reading!

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Three Lessons from a Dead Pine Tree

A few weeks ago, we had to have a beautiful, mature White Pine tree cut down. It had died in a combination of not enough water last summer and an insect or disease. Living in Arizona, mature trees are a huge value-add for our property AND take at least 20 years to get big.

I was heartbroken.

And guilty. Because I’M the one in charge of watering our landscaping. And frankly, last summer when the death knoll was rung, I was just too sick, dizzy, and pregnant to attend to this duty. (And Ben was away for work.)

There are some lessons to learn here:

1. Doors do close when you wait too long

I kept thinking: I’ll water it tomorrow. I KNEW that tree was stressed. But it was just “too hard” to go pull the hose out to it.

And now, it’s dead, cut down, and turning back into mulch at the dump. By the time I got around to it, it was too late to save the tree.

So when is it too late to start your book?

Honestly, much like trees, the BEST time to have written your book was “before” – last year, the year before, some time in the past.

And in facing the aftermath of the surgery-gone-sideways last October, I have had a personal glimpse into the danger of “later”.

It is NOT too late to start your book. Now is a PERFECT time.

Made all the sweeter by the knowledge that NOW is the last time you can enroll in the “Finally Write Your Book VIP Mentorship” at the current investment level. Because on May 1, that deal ends and the group will kick off on May 3.

Learn More Here and Enroll

2. Trees, like books, create legacy

We purchased this house six years ago (next month!) partly because of the beautiful mature trees. In fact, when we were touring the house, there was a picture of Mel, the previous owner, crouching next to a freshly planted evergreen tree. Was it THAT tree? I don’t know. But I thank her, and her husband, Burt, for every tree they planted.

Especially when, decades later, MY children are the recipients of a shady place to play.

I never met Burt and Mel. But I know their daughter and niece. (I’ve actually known their niece MOST of my life! Small world!)

These trees and the property are a legacy they left behind.

Books are also a legacy.

Keep Reading!

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It’s Your Book – WRITE It!

I can’t write your book for you.

There, I said it. Whew!

Occasionally, I still get people who want to hire me to ghostwrite their book for them. I even get people who aren’t turned off by the $30K starting price.

But where they inevitably freak out is learning that even with MY fingers on the keys, they are still responsible for writing the book.

That means that the client (author) still has a lot of work involved. It’s still THEIR vision – their stories, their message, and they have to decide if I’m capturing their voice… or not.

Hiring a true ghostwriter, no matter how skilled, isn’t book-by-abdication. You (the author) still has to be MASSIVELY involved.

Here’s the other side of “I can’t write your book for you.”

At some point, you’ll realize that writing a book requires time and effort. You have to find the time to write – and then do it. It’s not a “write a book in a few hours” type of thing – not for the message-driven book you really want to create.

Keep Reading!

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