motivation

,

Kim’s Philosophy for Success in 2020: Build on Small Wins

As we’re now halfway through the rollercoaster that is 2020, I wanted to share with you my updated philosophy for the year:

Build on small wins.

Everyone has a rough go of it this year. Some of us more than others! After my personal challenges in February (hello a month of Influenza A and morning sickness) I felt like my momentum would NEVER recover.

I know I wasn’t the only one who felt like throwing in the towel 60 or 90 days into 2020.

But today, June 30, I feel full of possibility for the six months ahead. I feel like challenges are coming (because that’s life) but that I’ll rise to meet them – instead of being flattened.

So what changed?

I’ve been building on small wins.

And, my friend, sometimes those wins have been microscopic!

  • Folded a load of laundry (while feeling like crap) – CELEBRATE!
  • Sold a “Publish Your Cookbook Workbook” – CELEBRATE!
  • Finally sent off that nagging legal thing (today) – CELEBRATE!
  • Wrote for 15 minutes on my book – CELEBRATE!
  • Kid went to bed on time WITH eating a real dinner and taking a bath – CELEBRATE!
  • Every ticket sale to my life event – CELEBRATE!
  • Pulled out the trashcan for trash day – CELEBRATE!
  • Sold some stuff on Craigslist – CELEBRATE!

I know that all too often we’re only looking at the BIG wins:

,

The Danger of “One” – and How “One” Impacts Your Writing

How many times have we given ourselves this excuse…

It’s just one day.

As in:

  • I’m only skipping ONE day of writing; I’ll catch up tomorrow.
  • It’s only skipping ONE week of sending the newsletter; probably nobody will notice.
  • It’s only ONE email that I should have sent… but haven’t.

It seems so easy. That missing just ONE time won’t really matter.

Except it’s never just ONE.

Much like a potato chip, when you let a commitment to yourself slip, it’s all to easy to justify it again the next day. And the next. And the next…

  • And then weeks go by and you haven’t written on your project.
  • Months pass and you haven’t emailed your list.
  • That email you didn’t send turns into a huge THING hanging over your head.

Recovering your momentum after even ONE day off is hard.

Today was one of the few days I seriously considered NOT sending the newsletter. I’m hot, tired, and dizzy. I’d love to say I am a woman who loves being pregnant… but I’m really not. Eight more weeks to go and I’m very much OVER a summer pregnancy. (When the monsoons start in 2-3 weeks, I’ll be far less hot and grumpy, I’m sure!)

Keep Reading!

,

Who Is the Boss of Your Success?

My dear client, coach, and colleague, Holly Doherty, has a great answer to the standard mentality of passing the buck, engaging in the blame game, and otherwise abdicating your role in your life.

You need to take responsibility for what is yours to take.

I have to say…

I love this.

It’s not taking responsibility for EVERYTHING that goes sideways in your life. Not all aspects of a situation are your fault.

But it is taking responsibility for what is – owning that, figuring it out, forgiving (if needed), and creating a plan so it doesn’t happen again.

This gives me tremendous freedom in my life – from anything from my finances, business, writing, courses I take, and even parenting and housework.

Like back in February when I got the flu (and then Small Thing got it) and before I knew it… POOF! a whole month was gone.

Was I responsible for getting sick?

No.

But I was responsible for keeping in contact with clients and then picking up the pieces of my business (and bank account) and getting back to work. When March was marked by the virus and the whole world getting turned upside down, figuring out what was MY responsibility allowed me to keep moving forward each day.

Am I fully responsible to get my writing done?

Yep.

Does it mean that it’s always easy?

Nope.

But I utilize my own “mini-goals” to help me out.

Same goes for any investment I make in training, mentorship, or coaching. Just last month, I bought a ticket to a great live-but-virtual event. Except I KNEW I wasn’t going to be able to attend – so I also bought the VIP Upgrade Replay Package. When that arrives, it’s 100% up to me to DO THE WORK.

And last week, at my own live-but-virtual event, it was the responsibility of each attendee to either attend OR buy the recordings (and then listen to them!) We had people there from FOUR countries and six time zones. And it went GREAT!

Keep Reading!

,

Kindness & the Complaint Weasel (2020)

This article first appeared in 2018. With all the horror that is going on in the world today, I thought it was appropriate to share.

Beyond anything else I want you to know two things:

1. Your Message Matters.

It matters to the world and it deeply matters to me.

2. I Love You.

I choose to only surround myself with kind, caring, most-of-the-time non-jerk people (Hey! We’re ALL jerks from time-to-time!) If you’re reading this, then YOU are a kind, caring, unlikely-to-be-a-jerk person. And I love you.

***

Let’s talk about kindness…

I’ve been thinking about kindness a lot lately. What it is and what it isn’t and why there isn’t more of it in our lives.

I’ve also been thinking about the Complaint Weasel. And why it is so easy to unleash him on the world.

I’ve come to the conclusion that kindness is a one-way street. It’s a street you travel, willingly and on purpose, but it’s not something you can expect from others.

Hear me out on this one …

When I worked in the tax office, by the time mid- to late-March rolled around, I was a basket case. Completely stressed to the max, surviving on caffeine and adrenaline. The work itself was stressful (hello, IRS!) and the office was busy. I dealt with nearly all of our 700 clients in either checking them in, checking them out, or preparing the taxes. I had contact with nearly every.single.client (and their spouses) at least once.

And every single client thought that THEIR taxes were the most important. And they were – to them.

Nobody seemed to realize that I was dealing with 700 returns (and about 1,000 PEOPLE!).

Do you see what I said there … dealing with.

I was rushed, hurried, harried, and often brisk.

The truth – I was stressed and emotional.

Imagine giving good people bad news – the refund wasn’t as big as they expected, they owed, your spouse or child or parent died – I’m sorry – I need the date of death and a death certificate please.

By mid-March, all I wanted was for somebody to SEE me. To see the person behind the stress. The person who really did care about them AND their taxes but just couldn’t find any more emotional bandwidth or strength to convey that. All I wanted was … kindness.

Don’t get me wrong! The clients weren’t horrible by any means. (Okay, with that many there are always a few meanies. But they’re the exception, not the rule!) It is that every one of them was stressed in their own right – about taxes and about who-knows-what else. And all that bled off onto me.

And I wanted kindness.

Now, let’s talk about the Complaint Weasel.

The Complaint WeaselThat’s the wiggly little creature that pops up when you’re on the phone with your bestie – venting, fussing, and yes, complaining.

It’s the endless parade of negativity, complaint, whining, nagging, and fussing that gets aired over and over and over and over. It’s the voice to the stress, the worry, and the fears.

And it’s like a CD on repeat – endlessly playing.

I realized that I was feeding my own Complaint Weasel too much. I was calling one of my besties, Martha, every.single.day. to complain about how stressed I am. Client deadlines. Client needs. Money woes and worries. Kiddo who won’t sleep. Kiddo who naps at the wrong moment. Husband who didn’t anticipate my every whim. My mom was too busy to come help me. Dog ate a stick on my carpet. People who drive too fast when we’re out for a walk. The wind. Clients not understanding me. Me not understanding them! Mean text messages. Fears. More stress.

On. And on. And on.

And then it hit me – all I’d been doing was calling her to complain. Barely asking about HER life and then digging into all my woes.

Not just letting the Complaint Weasel out for a romp but laying out treats and feeding him a gourmet meal!

I called and apologized. LISTENED more than I talked. We worked on her new business – for hours.

So where’s the intersection between kindness and the Complaint Weasel?

I think we’re all tired of the Complaint Weasel. Our own and everybody else’s. I think, deep down, we are tired of the bashing, the anger, and the meanness. We’ve got hair triggers – and we expect to be able to use them and have other people give us a pardon on it.

What if we were kind?

What if we recognized and remembered that we’re all facing crap?

That “terse” email or text message?

You can’t really understand the tone and caps for EMPHASIS might not be as emphatic as you’re thinking.

When you’re called out for something, it’s not as CALLED OUT as you might think. (Seriously, how much emphasis are you putting on that? Why?)

Keep Reading!

,

We’re all mad here… Oh LOOK! The world has gone crazy

I get it. I’m not immune to everything that is going on in our world today – and I’m not going to pretend that I am. What I will do is bring you my best, PROVEN tips for still doing your writing when life is crazy.

After all, just because EVERYONE’S life is a madhouse at the moment doesn’t mean that you and I won’t experience our own personal “falling apart” times in the future too!

1. Relax
This period of craziness is temporary – so just relax into it. If you’re anything like me, crazy breeds crazy. Suddenly, on an overly busy week, I can’t stand [fill in the blank] one more second and it MUST go on this week’s to do list. For me, that’s often some non-urgent task like pulling weeds in my driveway or needing to organize the pantry.

So relax. Take a deep breath (you do have time for that!) and remember that it’ll be okay.

2. Plan
Your writing is a non-negotiable (right?) so just because life is crazy, you’re not going to let it slip. But you might need to modify your goals and expectations temporarily. Here’s a plan you can borrow: 3 sessions in the week, writing 15-minutes per session.

It’s a mini-plan – but no matter HOW crazed your week is, you can find 3 chunks of time for 15 minutes.

3. Renegotiate
Sometimes, the best thing to do is to ask for a change in the deadline, scope, etc. For the longest time, this felt like a copout or excuse to me – but once I started putting it into practice, asking for a win-win renegotiation can open up a lot of space and leave both parties happy and empowered. This can free up some of your bandwidth – either time or emotion – to refocus on what’s important and time critical.

Don’t succumb to excuse-itis, but asking for some flexibility is showing off your strength.

Keep Reading!

,

Guest Post: Dr. Sarah Reiff-Hekking

One of the two P’s that my clients are always into: overcoming Procrastination! So I’m bringing you and article by the time matters expert, Dr. Sarah Reiff-Hekking. Dr. Sarah also has a great free masterclass 3 Keys to Getting Started on the Important Things >>> register here.

Do You Know How to

Convert a Great Idea Into Action?

Do you have a big, great idea?

Have you dreamed up an invention that will revolutionize modern life? Have you sketched out the outline for a motivational book that rivals Tony Robbins? Maybe you have an idea for a side business that you’re sure could work and become full-time – if you ever actually launched it. Or maybe you’re so busy that you’ve barely had time to think beyond what’s on your plate this week… but you *have* always daydreamed about converting a spare room into a writing retreat or recording studio.

March is as good a time as any to let yourself daydream about the ideas you’d like to turn into reality. Frankly, there’s no bad time for that, but March is also International Ideas Month. It’s one of those mysterious made-up holidays whose origins are impossible to trace. At some point, International Ideas Month just showed up on holiday websites devoted to things like National Cheeseburger Day (September 18th 😉)

March is International Ideas Month! Here's how to turn your ideas into action. @TrueFocusCoach Click To Tweet

The origins of International Ideas Month don’t really matter, though. Any excuse to celebrate the power of new ideas is a good one. When you’re feeling stuck and uninspired in your current life, it can be really useful to reflect on what you still want to get done with your time.

Keep Reading!

Let’s Defer that Decision!

As you know, I got sick with the flu on January 30, 2020. I know the moment it happened, because I was in the middle of the book launch for Rochelle Seltzer and “Live Big: A Manifesto for a Creative Life”. (Get the book)

I made it through all three hours… bundled up in a blanket and so achy I wanted to die.

And since it really WAS Influenza A, it took me the better part of two weeks—and countless rescheduled appointments and deadlines—before I started to feel better.

During those two weeks, my normally can-do attitude was not just absent but had done a 180 and was feeding me thoughts like:

  • You’ll never make any more money in your business…
  • All your clients will get impatient – and ask for refunds…
  • You’re going to miss [something] important…
  • Ben will have to bail you out…
  • Why are you even doing this…
  • And on and on and ON it went.

To make matters worse, I’d already planned some big things in those two weeks:

  • The 2020 Writer’s Goal Setting Workshop (and launch)
  • Massive progress on THREE client projects
  • A planned de-junk day of the office
  • The spring Storytelling Retreat for the Finally Write Your Book VIP Mentorship clients
  • Initial promotion for my 2020 live event

I rarely have time for guilt (especially “mommy guilt”) since it’s just a waste of my time. I’m very emotional anyway so I like to save it for things that matter. And guilt… really isn’t in my top 100.

But while I was sick every.single.thought was negative.

As SOON as I started to feel better though, my normal “God-has-my-back, I-can-figure-this-out” attitude started to reassert itself.

Keep Reading!

«< 3 4 5 6 7 >»