Mindset

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Who Is the Boss of Your Success?

My dear client, coach, and colleague, Holly Doherty, has a great answer to the standard mentality of passing the buck, engaging in the blame game, and otherwise abdicating your role in your life.

You need to take responsibility for what is yours to take.

I have to say…

I love this.

It’s not taking responsibility for EVERYTHING that goes sideways in your life. Not all aspects of a situation are your fault.

But it is taking responsibility for what is – owning that, figuring it out, forgiving (if needed), and creating a plan so it doesn’t happen again.

This gives me tremendous freedom in my life – from anything from my finances, business, writing, courses I take, and even parenting and housework.

Like back in February when I got the flu (and then Small Thing got it) and before I knew it… POOF! a whole month was gone.

Was I responsible for getting sick?

No.

But I was responsible for keeping in contact with clients and then picking up the pieces of my business (and bank account) and getting back to work. When March was marked by the virus and the whole world getting turned upside down, figuring out what was MY responsibility allowed me to keep moving forward each day.

Am I fully responsible to get my writing done?

Yep.

Does it mean that it’s always easy?

Nope.

But I utilize my own “mini-goals” to help me out.

Same goes for any investment I make in training, mentorship, or coaching. Just last month, I bought a ticket to a great live-but-virtual event. Except I KNEW I wasn’t going to be able to attend – so I also bought the VIP Upgrade Replay Package. When that arrives, it’s 100% up to me to DO THE WORK.

And last week, at my own live-but-virtual event, it was the responsibility of each attendee to either attend OR buy the recordings (and then listen to them!) We had people there from FOUR countries and six time zones. And it went GREAT!

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VIDEO: Have you asked “The Killing Question”… ?

Today on the first day of the last-ever “Your Bestseller – LIVE! Market Your Message to Bestseller Status” I directly addressed what I call “The Killing Question.” And this is not just relevant from last March (when this video was shot) but also today – as you’re navigating how your book impacts your reader.

Here’s this short (2 minute, 4 second) video – because I want you to write the book you’re called to write!


Here’s the transcript of the video so you can be sure to understand what I’m conveying to you.

Asking yourself THIS question can kill your book before you even start writing. Find out how to avoid The Killing Question. Click To Tweet

I help people to finally write their books and have them published. And when I get on the phone with somebody, it’s almost inevitable that I get this question:

Kim, have you read [insert name of the book here]? I want my book to be just like that.

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Yes, there IS a 6th Mental Monster

If you’ve been around my little corner of the internet at all, you’ll have heard me talk about the 5 Mental Monsters that Keep You from Writing Your Book. (Find them here: 5MentalMonsters.com)

They can be big and scary and keep you stuck.

But today, I wanted to introduce you to the SIXTH mental monster.

This guy – as cute and adorable as he may appear – shows up when you least expect it… just as all your dreams are on the cusp of coming true.

Mental Monster #6 shows up at the very end.

And he whispers…

Don’t.

Don’t finish.
Don’t publish.
Don’t be seen.

Don’t.

Mental Monster #6 feels like you’re about to walk around naked – with your dreams and hopes and ideas hanging out for the world to see.

It wants to keep you from actually sharing your message with the world. Keep Reading!

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We’re all mad here… Oh LOOK! The world has gone crazy

I get it. I’m not immune to everything that is going on in our world today – and I’m not going to pretend that I am. What I will do is bring you my best, PROVEN tips for still doing your writing when life is crazy.

After all, just because EVERYONE’S life is a madhouse at the moment doesn’t mean that you and I won’t experience our own personal “falling apart” times in the future too!

1. Relax
This period of craziness is temporary – so just relax into it. If you’re anything like me, crazy breeds crazy. Suddenly, on an overly busy week, I can’t stand [fill in the blank] one more second and it MUST go on this week’s to do list. For me, that’s often some non-urgent task like pulling weeds in my driveway or needing to organize the pantry.

So relax. Take a deep breath (you do have time for that!) and remember that it’ll be okay.

2. Plan
Your writing is a non-negotiable (right?) so just because life is crazy, you’re not going to let it slip. But you might need to modify your goals and expectations temporarily. Here’s a plan you can borrow: 3 sessions in the week, writing 15-minutes per session.

It’s a mini-plan – but no matter HOW crazed your week is, you can find 3 chunks of time for 15 minutes.

3. Renegotiate
Sometimes, the best thing to do is to ask for a change in the deadline, scope, etc. For the longest time, this felt like a copout or excuse to me – but once I started putting it into practice, asking for a win-win renegotiation can open up a lot of space and leave both parties happy and empowered. This can free up some of your bandwidth – either time or emotion – to refocus on what’s important and time critical.

Don’t succumb to excuse-itis, but asking for some flexibility is showing off your strength.

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Let’s Defer that Decision!

As you know, I got sick with the flu on January 30, 2020. I know the moment it happened, because I was in the middle of the book launch for Rochelle Seltzer and “Live Big: A Manifesto for a Creative Life”. (Get the book)

I made it through all three hours… bundled up in a blanket and so achy I wanted to die.

And since it really WAS Influenza A, it took me the better part of two weeks—and countless rescheduled appointments and deadlines—before I started to feel better.

During those two weeks, my normally can-do attitude was not just absent but had done a 180 and was feeding me thoughts like:

  • You’ll never make any more money in your business…
  • All your clients will get impatient – and ask for refunds…
  • You’re going to miss [something] important…
  • Ben will have to bail you out…
  • Why are you even doing this…
  • And on and on and ON it went.

To make matters worse, I’d already planned some big things in those two weeks:

  • The 2020 Writer’s Goal Setting Workshop (and launch)
  • Massive progress on THREE client projects
  • A planned de-junk day of the office
  • The spring Storytelling Retreat for the Finally Write Your Book VIP Mentorship clients
  • Initial promotion for my 2020 live event

I rarely have time for guilt (especially “mommy guilt”) since it’s just a waste of my time. I’m very emotional anyway so I like to save it for things that matter. And guilt… really isn’t in my top 100.

But while I was sick every.single.thought was negative.

As SOON as I started to feel better though, my normal “God-has-my-back, I-can-figure-this-out” attitude started to reassert itself.

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3 Tips to {Consistently} Find Time to Write

Let me be 100% plain:

The act of WRITING your book, sitting down and putting pen to paper or fingers to keys, is NOT the first step in writing a book. It’s actually the fourth step. I’ve shared my proven 5-step system over and over so I’m not blowing smoke…

But once you’re at the writing stage, then you DO have to manage your time to make it a reality. Because all the ideas and outlining and Big Dreams in the world won’t make a difference if you don’t actually (and FINALLY) WRITE the book.

So that begs the question: how do you find time to write?

Here are three tips (steps) to make finding the time for your book work in your busy life:

1. Make a decision

This isn’t as easy as it seems! But the first thing you need to do is make the decision that your writing is important. Decide it’s worth your time, energy, creativity, and effort. Decide that it’s something you need to focus on – and that you are going to focus on it.

While it seems like “make a decision” is a once-and-done choice, it really isn’t. You have to keep deciding that your writing is important – every day if need be.

Sometimes the inability to make this decision comes back to one of the 5 Mental Monsters that KEEP You from Writing Your Book. Discover them here.

2. Set a timer for 15 minutes

I call this a mini-goal: you’re going to write for 15 minutes every day. EVERY.DAY. And then do it.

Can you write for longer than 15 minutes? Of course!

But you can’t write for less. No matter how busy or hectic your day is, you can ALWAYS find 15 minutes. Seriously! And any day when 15 minutes is all you have (time, energy, creativity, being sick or tired or WHATEVER) you know you’re still moving your book forward.

On those days when you’re in the zone and you have both time and excitement – feel free to write for as long as you want to! But writing every day for 15 minutes adds up. And it adds up quicker than you might think.

3. Forgive – then get back on the wagon

There will be days when you can’t do step 1 or 2. There will be days when life sucks and for whatever reason (or excuse) you’re not writing.

Forgive yourself.

Then get back on the wagon.

Beating yourself up over a missed writing session doesn’t put words on the paper. Thinking that you’ll “make up the time” tomorrow really doesn’t cut it either – because when you’re facing down an hour or more of missed “15 minute” sessions, you’re feeling the pressure of the clock.

So, the easiest thing to do is forgive yourself and then get back onto the wagon.

Remember, that I NEVER give people the advice to “just write your book” as if that were Step 1 in the whole process. It isn’t and it’s a sure-fire way to make you crazy, stress you out, and make your book feel overwhelming.

If you’re ready to write your book the easy way, then join the Book Gameplan Membership HERE.

Making the Best of Your Writing Situation

If you’ve been around me AT ALL, you know that I really want to be in my office – with my fancy desktop computer, dual monitors, comfy chair, and ergonomic keyboard.

I like it there. It’s the easiest place for me to write and work.

But that doesn’t mean that I can ONLY work from there!

Today, the local schools are on a two-hour snow delay. Which means that my sitter can’t come until 11:30 am – instead of her normal start time of 9:30 am. She’s got to get her kids to school too. Nothing I can do about the delay in my workday.

And while there are bunches of things I really can’t do from my kitchen table and laptop, with “Go Buster” playing in the background, writing this article isn’t among them. So here I am, making the most of it.

Keep Reading!

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