Mindset

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Three Lessons from a Dead Pine Tree

A few weeks ago, we had to have a beautiful, mature White Pine tree cut down. It had died in a combination of not enough water last summer and an insect or disease. Living in Arizona, mature trees are a huge value-add for our property AND take at least 20 years to get big.

I was heartbroken.

And guilty. Because I’M the one in charge of watering our landscaping. And frankly, last summer when the death knoll was rung, I was just too sick, dizzy, and pregnant to attend to this duty. (And Ben was away for work.)

There are some lessons to learn here:

1. Doors do close when you wait too long

I kept thinking: I’ll water it tomorrow. I KNEW that tree was stressed. But it was just “too hard” to go pull the hose out to it.

And now, it’s dead, cut down, and turning back into mulch at the dump. By the time I got around to it, it was too late to save the tree.

So when is it too late to start your book?

Honestly, much like trees, the BEST time to have written your book was “before” – last year, the year before, some time in the past.

And in facing the aftermath of the surgery-gone-sideways last October, I have had a personal glimpse into the danger of “later”.

It is NOT too late to start your book. Now is a PERFECT time.

Made all the sweeter by the knowledge that NOW is the last time you can enroll in the “Finally Write Your Book VIP Mentorship” at the current investment level. Because on May 1, that deal ends and the group will kick off on May 3.

Learn More Here and Enroll

2. Trees, like books, create legacy

We purchased this house six years ago (next month!) partly because of the beautiful mature trees. In fact, when we were touring the house, there was a picture of Mel, the previous owner, crouching next to a freshly planted evergreen tree. Was it THAT tree? I don’t know. But I thank her, and her husband, Burt, for every tree they planted.

Especially when, decades later, MY children are the recipients of a shady place to play.

I never met Burt and Mel. But I know their daughter and niece. (I’ve actually known their niece MOST of my life! Small world!)

These trees and the property are a legacy they left behind.

Books are also a legacy.

Keep Reading!

Is This Mental Monster Eating You? Mental Monster #1

So you’re stuck on your book…

Why?

Here’s a hint:

It has NOTHING to do with lack of willpower. It’s not a habit that needs forming, it’s not that you’re stupid, it’s not that you need to just block out your calendar.

Nope.

It’s because you’ve fallen victim to a Mental Monster. The beasties can crop up at any point in the writing process – sometimes alone and sometimes they bring a friend.

The good news?

There are only five Mental Monsters. Yes, for REAL. Your personal brand of worry, procrastination, freak-out, stress, avoidance, or other mental garbage will settle into just ONE of these five categories.

And the best news?

You can get rid of the Mental Monster. For good.

Keep Reading!

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Video: Quitting Day

Did you know that January 19th is also called Quitting Day? It’s the day when all those New Years resolutions, goals, and dreams go right out the window. And people give up.

That sounds TERRIBLE to me.

Since I’m not up to brining you a 90-minute workshop to set your writing goals, like I usually do in January, I recorded you a 9-minute training that will help you keep going in the face of Quitting Day.

And Little Bean makes a cameo!



Here’s the transcript of the video so you can be sure to understand what I’m conveying to you.

Welcome to Quitting Day. That’s right. January 19th is known as Quitting Day. This is the day where you decide to give up all of your happy resolutions and goals, like going out for a jog every day, or having this be the year that where you FINALLY write your book in favor of not… doing it.

I have to tell you, I’m not immune to this myself. I had this goal already this year, 2021, that I was going to listen a personally important podcast, three days a week. And here it is, January 19th, and guess how many times I’ve listened to it?

Big fat I haven’t.

Kind of makes you want to quit, right?

Why on earth do we want to give up nineteen days into the year? Why do we want to write off 2021 because the first nineteen days didn’t go the way you would thought? So what do you want to do? Don’t quit, right?

Here’s what I want you to do.

#1 forgive yourself and let it go.

Yes, the first nineteen days of the year, maybe you did great writing your book for a week, two, and you’ve gotten off track. Guess what? I don’t care. There’s so much left in the year that you shouldn’t care either. So forgive yourself and let it go. Maybe you’re still hung up on the goals you set for yourself in 2020, but didn’t do, or just what you wanted to do already this year. Let it go.

#2 I want you to set an amazing impossible goal for yourself.

Are you ready? Write seven days a week.

Yes, this is an impossible goal.

You’re not going to be able to write seven days a week from now until the end of the year. But here’s the importance of this “impossible” goal. Number one, it really gets you into motion. It really allows you to see what you can do if you tell yourself you’re going to write every day. Are you going to write every day? Of course, you’re not going to write every day. You’re not. But it gives you the opportunity to circle back to number one, forgive yourself, let it go, and start again. Now, if you followed me for any length of time, you know I have talked about the importance of mini goals.

So what’s a mini goal? A mini goal very simply is deciding that you’re going to rate every single day.

And here’s the way I like to break it down, that you’re either going to write 15 minutes a day at a minimum or a half a page at a minimum. And then you do it every single day because I’m not asking you to write pages and pages and hours and hours, it’s just something that can slot in. Everybody can find 15 minutes, even busy moms like me. But here’s the thing. What happens when you miss a day? Let it go and do it again the next day. A mini goal is not, and I’m going to repeat this for those in the back, a mini goal is not, “Oh, I missed a day. Tomorrow, I have to write half an hour instead of 15 minutes.” No, it isn’t. You don’t catch up, you just let it go and start again. I’ll pop a link in the comments on this video, in the description on this video for a whole article that I wrote about the power of mini goals. And I talk about these all the time.

#3 tools in order to be successful.

To make 2021 the year you finally write your book, and to give you some strength and space to get past Quitting Day, you need some tools.

Tool number one… shocking, pens, right? You don’t have to have fancy software. You don’t even have to use your computer. Don’t overcomplicate this, my friends. Grab your phone and do notes on your phone. I don’t typically recommend that one, but if that’s the one that works for you, go for it. Pen and paper is always my go-to. Use your computer. You don’t need fancy software, and you don’t need a fancy ritual.

Tool number two… my handy-dandy 15 minutes sand timer. Why do I prefer a sand timer as opposed to the timer on your phone? Here’s the awesome thing about a sand timer. When this runs out, it doesn’t make a noise. So when you are in the flow and you look up, you have no clue how much is really left on the sand timer, and you keep writing. And then you get into this writing flow when you’re writing and writing and writing, and you look up and the sand timer is empty.

Now, the only time I prefer a noisy timer over a silent timer is if you’re running up against the bookend like, “Oh, I have to stop in 17 minutes because I have a call. OR I’ve got to go pick up my kids from school. OR I have an appointment.” That’s the time when you need a noisy timer to click you on out, right?

Tool number three… The Writer’s Goal Setting Workbook, A Step-By-Step Process to Getting Your Writing Done. And this workbook, which is in full color, my loves, and these are tracking sheets for your mini goals. I wrote this by the way, and I wrote it just for you.

This is not a, “Write your book in this workbook,” type of workbook. This is a, “How do we release all of that history of letting yourself down, of not doing it, of saying that you were going to do it, and you didn’t, specifically around your writing?” And then looking at what are your writing goals? How much do you want to accomplish? Why? Why is this so important? Plus, you have all of this tracking for the mini goals, releasing any past writing trauma. And here’s the most amazing thing.

When you do not give in to Quitting Day, then it makes this the year that you finally write your book.

Happy January 19th. Don’t be a quitter.

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Guest Post: Stephanie Calahan

Baby Girl Galloway is just over a week old! To make my life a bit easier, I’ve reached out to some of the best voices in my sphere of influence and asked them to share their wisdom with you. Each guest author was chosen because I KNOW you’ll learn something from them.

 

Is This Visibility Block Keeping You From Writing Your Book?

Many authors, coaches, and other high achievers have a sneaky mind gremlin lurking in their writing space.

Deep down, they feel like they are not enough, that they don’t know enough, that they don’t fit in, or maybe they even feel like complete frauds and know that someone will find them out at any minute.

If this feels familiar, you are in good company. Dr. Maya Angelou, Albert Einstein, Sheryl Sandberg, Amy Cuddy, Shonda Rhimes, Neil Gaiman, Lupita Nyong’o, Padma Lakshmi, Jodie Foster, Tina Fey, and Joyce Roche have all expressed similar feelings.

This type of Visibility Block is called Impostor Syndrome, and it impacts over 70% of the population and can stop you, your writing, and your business in its tracks.

What Is Impostor Syndrome?

Impostor Syndrome reflects a belief or a collection of beliefs that you are inadequate and/or incompetent despite evidence that says you are quite skilled and successful.

The beliefs vary from person to person, but they all contribute to the idea that you are somehow not worthy.

“Every time I was called in class, I was sure that I was about to embarrass myself. Every time I took a test, I was sure that it had gone badly. And every time I didn’t embarrass myself–or even excelled–I believed that I had fooled everyone yet again. One day soon, the jig would be up… This phenomenon of capable people being plagued by self-doubt has a name–the Impostor Syndrome.” Sheryl Sandberg, Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead

For some, the symptoms are short-term, such as when they are taking on a new job. For others, it is a chronic condition that keeps them from reaching their goals their whole lives.

“I don’t just study impostorism, I experience it. And I didn’t just experience it, I inhabited it. It was like a little house I lived in. Of course, no one else knew I was there. It was my secret. It nearly always is. That’s how impostorism gets such a good grip–it pays you hush money. If you don’t tell anyone about those feelings, then people are less likely to think, ‘Hmm…maybe she really doesn’t deserve to be here.’ No need to give them any ideas, right?” Amy Cuddy, Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges

Studies have found that it is common in men and women in a multitude of fields and niches. Students, people who work alone, people who are members of marginalized groups, people in rapidly changing fields (e.g. tech and medicine), and people in fields that are creative in nature (e.g. speaking, music, writing, etc.) have an even more prevalent occurrence of it.

Impostor Syndrome is becoming more prevalent too. The more we use social media, the easier it is to get caught up comparing ourselves to others, and often that comparison is not helpful or accurate. We end up creating stories in our minds about others’ success and allow ourselves to get intimidated.

Signs You May Have Impostor Syndrome

Keep Reading!

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Writing Your Book Is NOT a “Guilty Pleasure”

Does your writing time feel like a “guilty pleasure”?

I get it. In a day that is filled with obligations – clients, family, chores, deadlines, bills to pay, trash to put out – anything that is for yourself can get pushed to the back-burner. While we’re hammered from every side to “make time for self-care” and we’re conscious of the need to eat, exercise, drink enough water, get enough sleep, and make time for play, it can be hard to justify time for writing your book.

Suddenly, that “I HAVE to write this book to share my message so that I can help people” drive… twists.

You’re called to write the book and yet, at the first hint of enjoyment in the writing process, writing your book suddenly becomes a “guilty pleasure.”

And it suddenly becomes oh-so-hard to find the time to write.

Is writing your book a guilty pleasure - that often doesn't get done? Ditch the writing guilt! Click To Tweet

You find yourself writing in the evenings, not because there was “no time” to write during the day, but because you couldn’t JUSTIFY using the hours in your work day to concentrate on your project.

Me too.

I enjoy writing. I enjoy almost everything that I write – if that’s a client project, launch copy, a sales page, even posts for Facebook. It brings me pleasure. And it’s easy to do when I can justify spending the time because it’s “for a client.” Even this, my weekly article and newsletter, brings me great pleasure. And it’s easy to justify that I’m allowed to write it during work hours because it is for you, my beloved newsletter list.

Ask myself to work on my own projects, no matter what they are, and suddenly I am struggling. I’ve had ideas for a writing a book for Small Thing, a collection of his favorite made up songs. ZERO commercial value. Does nothing to “move my business forward.” I’d enjoy it though and then… it’s regulated to after-work hours.

Keep Reading!

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Kim’s Philosophy for Success in 2020: Build on Small Wins

As we’re now halfway through the rollercoaster that is 2020, I wanted to share with you my updated philosophy for the year:

Build on small wins.

Everyone has a rough go of it this year. Some of us more than others! After my personal challenges in February (hello a month of Influenza A and morning sickness) I felt like my momentum would NEVER recover.

I know I wasn’t the only one who felt like throwing in the towel 60 or 90 days into 2020.

But today, June 30, I feel full of possibility for the six months ahead. I feel like challenges are coming (because that’s life) but that I’ll rise to meet them – instead of being flattened.

So what changed?

I’ve been building on small wins.

And, my friend, sometimes those wins have been microscopic!

  • Folded a load of laundry (while feeling like crap) – CELEBRATE!
  • Sold a “Publish Your Cookbook Workbook” – CELEBRATE!
  • Finally sent off that nagging legal thing (today) – CELEBRATE!
  • Wrote for 15 minutes on my book – CELEBRATE!
  • Kid went to bed on time WITH eating a real dinner and taking a bath – CELEBRATE!
  • Every ticket sale to my life event – CELEBRATE!
  • Pulled out the trashcan for trash day – CELEBRATE!
  • Sold some stuff on Craigslist – CELEBRATE!

I know that all too often we’re only looking at the BIG wins:

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The Danger of “One” – and How “One” Impacts Your Writing

How many times have we given ourselves this excuse…

It’s just one day.

As in:

  • I’m only skipping ONE day of writing; I’ll catch up tomorrow.
  • It’s only skipping ONE week of sending the newsletter; probably nobody will notice.
  • It’s only ONE email that I should have sent… but haven’t.

It seems so easy. That missing just ONE time won’t really matter.

Except it’s never just ONE.

Much like a potato chip, when you let a commitment to yourself slip, it’s all to easy to justify it again the next day. And the next. And the next…

  • And then weeks go by and you haven’t written on your project.
  • Months pass and you haven’t emailed your list.
  • That email you didn’t send turns into a huge THING hanging over your head.

Recovering your momentum after even ONE day off is hard.

Today was one of the few days I seriously considered NOT sending the newsletter. I’m hot, tired, and dizzy. I’d love to say I am a woman who loves being pregnant… but I’m really not. Eight more weeks to go and I’m very much OVER a summer pregnancy. (When the monsoons start in 2-3 weeks, I’ll be far less hot and grumpy, I’m sure!)

Keep Reading!

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