Mindset

This is what I call The Killing Question, the one that will completely derail your book, mute your voice, and end your message – all before you even start to write.

And guess what?!

I’m not even being melodramatic!

(Okay, maybe I am I little bit.)

I have had thousands of phone calls with authors over the years. We talk about their book and how they want their message to change the world. And, almost without fail, there comes the moment in the conversation that I just hate. It goes like this:

Author: Have you read XYZ book by so-and-so author? I want my book to be Just Like That One.

Me: No, I haven’t read it. (Heart sinking.)

My heart used to sink in my chest because MOST of the time I’d never even HEARD of the book, let alone read it. I was worried that the author would judge me and my literary choices.

But then I realized something more important:

When the author wanted their book to be Just Like That One –

it meant that they were willing to do ANYTHING to emulate their hero.

In love with a memoir but writing a process book? They’ll write a memoir about a story they don’t really want to tell.

Delighted by a sparse book with just 50 pages? They’ll pare down their message to the point that it doesn’t make sense, just to hit that magic page count.

Enamored by a process book? They’ll try to bring meaning, or worse and acronym, out of their life story so the reader can have a five-step system to follow.

Here’s how the Killing Question derails the book:

As an author, you’re suddenly trying to shoehorn YOUR story and YOUR message into someone else’s format or formula.

I once worked with an author as a ghostwriter how decided that all her chapters had to be exactly four pages long. The problem? One of her important concepts was actually much quicker to explain. I had to pull out all my old college tricks to pad the word count.

Two OTHER of her concepts were important but hard to explain. It was impossible to cut it down to just four pages. It didn’t make any sense at all.

We both left the project frustrated. Her readers never got to read the book because it is, to this day, unfinished. Keep Reading!

I spent a few years in my 20s actively and passionately building a network marketing business. I attended so.many.trainings. And one thing that they all had in common was the difference between actions that built your business and actions that were just… activity.

And yes, sometimes you DID have to assemble kits to hand out to people. Making the labels, sticking them on magazines and DVDs, creating packets of brochures. It was also very easy to be seduced by those actions and THINK you were building your business – but if I wasn’t actually TALKING to a prospect about the value of legal plans (or how to get started selling them) then it was just…

Activity.

And let’s face it, popping on a mailing label on the envelope of a DVD is WAY easier than actually handing that DVD to somebody. Or *gasp* CALLING them to follow-up!

All that network marketing training stood me in good stead when I stepped out of my dad’s tax practice and into my own coaching business. At least I KNOW the difference between activities that bring me closer to my goal and ones that just SEEM to.

There is, however, the Terrible Trivium lurking in the background ready to encourage me to waste time!

Who is the Terrible Trivium, you ask?

To answer that, we have to go back to one of my favorite books from childhood:

“The Phantom Tollbooth” by Norton Juster. Get The Book.

In the book, a little boy, Milo, and his trusty companions Tock and the Humbug go on a journey through an imaginary land to rescue the two princesses: Rhyme and Reason.

Along the way they meet some friends, some foes, some people who look like foes but who are friends, and some foes who appear friendly. One of the last is the demon known as the Terrible Trivium.

Copyright Jules Feiffer; The Phantom Tollbooth

The Terrible Trivium encounters the heroes and asks:

“I wonder if you could spare me a little of your time,” he inquired politely, “and help with a few small jobs?”

“Yes, indeed,” said Milo who wondered for just a moment how it was possible for someone so agreeable to have a face with no features at all.

“Splendid,” he said happily, “for there are just three tasks. Firstly, I would like to move this pile from here to there,” he explained, pointing to an enormous mound of fine sand; “but I’m afraid that all I have is this tiny tweezers.” And he gave them to Milo, who immediately began transporting one grain at a time.

Copyright Jules Feiffer; The Phantom Tollbooth

The Terrible Trivium sets two other tasks:

• Moving the water in a well, using an eye dropper.
• Digging a hole through a cliff, using a needle.

Can you guess where I’m going here?

No, it’s not using the wrong tool for the job. It’s being seduced by doing something, ANYTHING, make you think you’re making progress.

In writing your book, that shows up like:

• Getting more certifications for a subject you’re already an expert in.
• Spending hours looking for old journals or photos as “research” for a story of your life. (Not even a whole memoir; just a small story you want to share in your book!)
• Investing in classes about publishing – when the book isn’t written yet.
• Reorganizing the files on your computer.
• Researching the best software to write your book – but never buying OR using it.
• Sharpening your pencils.
• Spending four hours on Amazon shopping for the PERFECT notebook, to go with the 17 other “perfect” notebooks you already own.
• Cleaning your office – again – and thinking it is writing your book.
• Attending lectures, poetry readings, and writers conferences to collect “connections” in the publishing industry – for a book you haven’t written yet.

Not to mention all the THOUSAND ways that the Terrible Trivium can show up in the busywork we often fill our days with.

My friend, enough is enough.

What YOU need is a plan to write your book. Not just any plan, a plan customized to YOU – your book, your message, and where YOU get snarled by the Terrible Trivium.

You get all that and more when you join me for “Brew Your Book: Stop ‘Percolating’ on Your Message and FINALLY Write Your Book” happening September 20-22, 2022.

This is a virtual event so you can attend from anywhere!

Last year, I had people joining us from four continents and 13 time zones! (I think it was about six countries.)

Registration is only $97 and that includes:

• 3 full days of training
• Gift box* that includes the printed even coursebook, notebook, and other goodies
• Networking with like-minded authors
• Your custom plan to write your book
• And more!

Register Here

* Gift box registration ends September 10, 2022. Yes, I will ship it internationally at no additional charge.

One last thing about ALL those trainings I attended during my network marketing days:

Even when I THOUGHT I’d heard it before, I always walked away with a nugget that helped me get closer to my goals. That included earning trips from the company and being in the top 15% of the entire organization.

Sure, you’ve done so.much.work on your book. But I’m confident that attending “Brew Your Book” will help your message, your writing, and your book. You’ll get more in three days with me than in MONTHS just taking courses on your own.

Register Today >>> Gift Box Ends September 10

“Should”

The word that killed a thousand dreams and launched a million failed projects.

Typically, when personal development folks start going on about “should” they talk about how you’re “shoulding all over yourself” i.e. you’re beating yourself up about the things you should do, should have done, should be doing, should not have done, should not be doing.

(Take a moment to ponder the grammar in that sentence and freak out about verb tense. I’ll wait.)

And while I’m definitely NOT a personal development guru or self-help expert, I mostly understand what they’re saying:

That SHOULD kills your momentum and dreams. Do it (or don’t) but stop shoulding yourself.

Greaaaaat.

Now let’s talk about how “should” functions in MY world.

It goes like this:

You’re having a great time, chatting with a new friend or acquaintance. You’re telling a story about something that has happened in your life – good or bad – and they’re hanging on every word.

Your verbal storytelling skills are spot-on. You’ve probably told this story so many times before, you know just how to deliver the emotional punch lines, where to speed up, where to slow down. How to change your voice inflection, how to gauge your listener – and make adjustments to your voice, story, and pace to KEEP them hooked.

And then…

And then…

And then…

You get it:

“That was GREAT! You should write a book.”

{Insert dramatic sigh and pregnant pause here.}

Keep Reading!