Kim’s Thoughts

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What is overwhelm costing you? (And your message!)

I’d like to think that I know a thing or two about overwhelm…

When I was a junior in high school, my mom had to leave her shopping cart in the middle of Walmart to take me home – too many people after too long a day and I started crying. I was overwhelmed and we had to leave Right Now.

042616-SinkLast week I started crying before breakfast because the dishwasher was full of clean dishes, the sink full of dirty, and I couldn’t get my tea kettle under the faucet to make a cup of tea. Ben saved the day by filling a mug with water and pouring it into the kettle.

It took me nine months to completely unpack after we moved – and I still have boxes in the spare bedroom that were stuffed (full) into the closet. (And I “packed” in three days before I moved because I couldn’t figure out how to pack and still live/work in the house.)

The first four seasons I spent working in the family tax practice, I’d break down crying at LEAST once a week because there were three phone lines ringing, a waiting room full of clients, and I couldn’t find my stapler.

Here’s the thing about me: I actually rarely procrastinate. Because I’m always busy doing something – and it’s usually some activity that is getting me closer to a goal. But there are just so many moving parts at any one time, I get stuck knowing where to start, what to do next (or what to do first!), and how to keep everything I’m doing moving forward.

This is a classic definition of overwhelm.

All too often I think that we wear “overwhelm” like a badge of honor. Like the person with the biggest To Do list, the most amount of projects in progress, the most chaos in life wins.

Are you living an overwhelmed life? 'Overwhelm' is NOT a badge of honor! Click To Tweet

So I get it that the idea of adding “Write A Book” to an already overwhelmed life feels heavy. Like there’s an elephant sitting on your chest. And the desire to write it battles with everything else that life requires and before you know it, you’re overwhelmed, behind, and crying at the sink because you just want a cup of tea and all the steps required to just get water into the kettle are more than you can handle.

And I don’t even have kids yet!

Sweetie, I get it. I know what it’s like to be on the perfectionist scale – the one that says More Is Better (not the one that creates a Pinterest-worthy life!). And I know what it’s like to bite off more than you can chew – regularly – and then wonder if you’re a masochist or just dumb because you’re not learning from your past “mistakes”.

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Are you writing a book in 2016?

011916-FinallyWriteBookIs “Write My Book” on your list of goals for 2016?

Or should I ask you, is it on your list AGAIN this year?

Trust me, I understand what it’s like to have a goal (or a to do item) that just keeps appearing – day after day, week after week, even year after year. After a while, you start to wonder what’s wrong with you!

Where are you going wrong that a smart, driven, successful person just can’t GET IT DONE?

Not knowing where to start will keep you stuck! Make a plan to reach your #goals. Click To Tweet
Finally writing your book isn’t like other goals of losing weight, saving more money, or taking a vacation. Those type of goals have clear steps…

  • Lose weight: Move more, eat less. Maybe join a gym.
  • Save more money: fewer lattes and put the cash in a savings account (could also help with #1)
  • Take a vacation: pick a date, find a location, book a flight. Ah, relax!

All these goals have steps that leap out and say, HERE! This is your path to success.

But writing a book…

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Honoring What Inspires You

In our travels west, after spending Christmas in Maryland with Ben’s family, we’re served by countless members of wait staff, clerks, hotel staff, and other people in the service industry. And it’s easy to let them all just blur into a faceless mob as we’re rapidly heading west.

But this evening, I had the great pleasure to be able to give to inspiration. We stopped for the night and the only available restaurant was a chain – NOT our favorite. The wait staff all seemed really harried and hurried – even though the place was only about half full. It took over 40 minutes just to get our food.

When we were at the counter paying, I asked if they were short staffed in the kitchen because it had taken so long to get our food. The rather hassled looking young woman answered that about an hour before we got there, the fire suppression system had gone off in the kitchen – soaking EVERYTHING and creating a complete system restart. I instantly had a different view of the wait! (And why everybody was looking so stressed.)

As Ben was finishing his credit card transaction, the manager swooped in and cancelled it – saying that 40 minutes was outrageous and dinner was on her. Wow! (I really hadn’t been fishing for a discount; just an answer!)

Are you honoring what inspires you as 2015 comes to a close? Click To Tweet

But as she was cancelling the transaction, and we were thanking her, I said that I did want to tip the waitress, Brittany, who had done a fabulous job taking care of us. Both Brittany and the manager looked shocked that I still wanted to tip.

What I was doing was honoring an inspiring young woman (she was all of about 17) who kept her cool, her smile, and her composure as she was clearly feeling so stressed.

In these last weeks of the year (and in the next few weeks) you’ll see dozens of articles about setting goals for 2016. I encourage you to read them. But instead of spending all this time in reflection and planning, I invite you to do something else:

Reach out to somebody who inspires you.
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25 Gifts For Writers– 2015 Edition

I have to tell you, this is my FAVORITE post to write each year! I keep hoping that some of these goodies will show up under MY Christmas tree…

And because I’m sooooo on top of it in 2015 (tongue in cheek!) I’m writing this post before Black Friday/Cyber Monday so hopefully you can get some great ideas before you start your gift-buying in earnest!

If you’re anything like me, I always get the best shopping ideas from the gift buying lists! Here’s a list of gifts for writers that that are sure to thrill any writer on your list. Or maybe you’ll pick up a gift or two for yourself!

And to make your shopping for the perfect writer’s gift a bit easier, just click on the name of the item to be taken directly to where you can purchase it! (It may or may not be an affiliate link, depending on if the retailer offers that option)

Great gifts for #writers! Click To Tweet

This is the third year I’ve done this post. Some are repeats (’cause they’re just that good!) and others have been bumped off the list.

And be sure to share this post with folks who will be shopping for writers! There are tweets sprinkled throughout and shares on Facebook or Pinterest are ALWAYS great too!

So here’s the 2015 Gifts For Writer’s Guide:

 

Magnetic Poetry Kit

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Do me a favor, buy several different word kits! A great gift is to include these with a cookie sheet (double check the magnets stick) so your fav writer doesn’t even have to leave the desk!

 

Coffee Joulies

112415-CoffeeJouliesOMG! Somebody PLEASE buy these for me! My tea… I mean COFFEE is always getting cold. This is a stunningly gorgeous metal “bean” that keeps your hot drink at the perfect drinking temperature of 140 for HOURS. It’s one bean per 4 ounces of liquid.

If you hate being in the middle of something amazing and needing to stop to nuke your coffee (or tea!) this is for you!

 

Fingerless Gloves with Book Quotes

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Available in a variety of literary patterns, these gloves just look so cool! (Yes, they’re on my Christmas list!) My office gets chilly for a pair of fingerless gloves is a MUST so I can keep typing away  – without having to turn on the furnace for the whole house!

And if you must wear fingerless gloves… Then THESE are the gloves to wear!

Keep Reading!

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Rant: When People Want Your Book For Free

062315-GrrrrLast month, I released an anthology that I edited. 44 authors (myself included) came together to create the book. While I don’t know how much time each author put it, I know that my time alone was somewhere pushing 100 hours.

Not to mention the time, money, and effort involved to fly from Arizona to Maryland to release the book at a live event with 3,000 people in attendance.

And when I got home, I had to mail out a copy of the book to each and every contributor. While SOME of these costs were covered, most weren’t.

But it’s been all worth it to see picture after picture appear in the last week on Facebook as authors received their contributor copies. For nearly 40 of them, this was their first-ever publication AND their first book.

Pretty huge stuff, right?

The authors have been tagging me when they are showing off the book so I get to revel in their successes and share their joy.

And then this…

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What happens when you write something really vulnerable?

Vulnerable. It’s a buzz word in the expert industry. Something that you do – on purpose – to show you’re human. To help people relate to you. Experts talk about when they shared their vulnerabilities with their prospects or clients, amazing things happened.

And I pretty much dismissed it as a marketing ploy.

033115-DelicateGrassSure, I love to hear about the trials and triumphs in someone’s life and business. It taps into that part of my brain that also loves gossip and looking at tabloid photos while I’m waiting in the grocery store checkout line.

But true vulnerability? That piece of a soul that is too delicate to be touched, but that still could be shared. There was a part of me that scoffed. Who really wants to put all that out on the Internet for everybody to read? Who wants to read it? What’s the REAL purpose?

But can I tell you something? When you get really vulnerable – the type that makes you squirm a bit – BIG stuff happens.

However – and this is a big caveat – it can’t be for an ulterior motive! If you’re getting “vulnerable” for the “Look at me! Look at me!” part of your personality that isn’t real vulnerability. That’s narcissism.

And because I have strong feelings about the line between private and public, I’ve never gotten really vulnerable in a public forum. (If you’re subscribed to my newsletter, you get more back story but it’s never been really raw.)

Until last week.

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Can one story change a life?

Can I tell you a secret?

You story matters. You are the only person on the whole planet who is the unique sum of your experiences, feelings, knowledge, and opinions. All that comes together into your own world-view.

Sure you might catalog and classify your opinions through the lenses of your life like:

  • Political party
  • Religion (or lack thereof)
  • Where you live
  • Ethnicity
  • Culture
  • Gender

Or what you think about marriage, guns, equality, feminism, or the importance of bananas in smoothies.

The point I’m trying to make is that you’re so much than just your labels! There are things you care about – passionately, deeply – that you know you are meant to share with the world.

THIS is your story.

It is the information that only you can share. And it matters.

Keep Reading!

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