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The Intersection of Time and Fear

I’ve had dozens of people email me over the past week – telling me what their biggest challenge is around writing their book.

It boils down to pretty much two things:

  1. How can I find more time to write?
  2. Am I doing this writing… right?

When those two challenges show up in combination… it’s a recipe for inaction (and then getting MAD at yourself for not writing!)

My darling author, let’s look at this okay?

Time

Imagine me holding your hand and saying this very gently:

We make time for the things that matter.

And if you look at your life, you’ll find it’s true. You’ll also find that it’s EASIER to make time for other people – less so for yourself. Which is why you’re probably also struggling to find time to exercise (me!), go to bed at a decent hour, pursue your hobbies, and yes, write.

The things that seem “easy” are caring for other people – those kids HAVE to eat, they HAVE to have clean clothes (even if they aren’t folded), and the dog HAS to be fed. If you’ve got clients or a job, you rarely, if ever, drop THOSE balls – they are cared for.

Now, add in the fact that you are TIRED. It’s so easy to watch TV, scroll social media, even disappear into a book. And that’s okay! You’ve GOT to have time to switch off your brain and rest.

And…

We make time for the things that matter.

We make time for things that matter. Your book, your message... MATTERS. Click To Tweet

Writing your book DOES matter. And you WANT to make time to write. But… here’s where time intersects with fear. Because WHY spend your time on something that, while enjoyable and you WANT to do, you’re riddled with self-doubts about if your message does in fact, matter; will anybody READ the book, and are you writing “correctly” so people will want to read it later.

Does my writing MATTER?

We WANT to make an impact in the world. We WANT to make a difference, to help people. We also want to be liked, respected, and appreciated.

Writing is a solo activity. And it’s almost impossible to figure out if you’re doing it “right” on your own. You either think all your writing is BRILLIANT and wonderful… or your convinced it’s all crap and you should never write again.

There’s no middle ground.

Keep Reading!

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Don’t Use Your “Signature Talk” to Write Your Book (It’s a bad idea – here’s why!)

For YEARS now, it’s been floating around the coaching industry that the best way to write your book is to simply take your “signature talk” and put it in your book. Some “book writing companies” even go as far as saying they’ll record you giving your talk, transcribe it, clean it up, and that’s your book.

I’m calling false.

This is a TERRIBLE idea!

Why?

Because your talk, sometimes called a signature talk, your webinar, preview call, or a speak to sell talk, serves a very different purpose than a book.

These talks are designed to position you as an expert, give some WHY the person should do what you say, tease the HOW you get results, and then invite them to buy from you.

Want to know what else does that?

A sales page.

Your book is NOT a long-form sales letter!

Your book is NOT a long-form sales letter. Don't write it that way! Do THIS instead. Click To Tweet

Your book SHOULD be used to encourage people to work with you more closely – if that’s your thing. (For many of my authors, they don’t HAVE coaching program, products, or “stuff” for a reader to buy.)

Keep Reading!

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Client Success Story: Douglas Gentile

I want to take a moment and brag on my client, Douglas Gentile, for his new book that was published on May 12, 2022.

The book is “Finding the Freedom to Get Unstuck and Be Happier” by Ven. Dr. Douglas Cheolsoeng Gentile.

​Douglas is one of the graduates from the VIP Writing Mentorship and the Finally Write Your Book System. His book was published last week by Penguin (and is available on Amazon.)


 

Douglas came to me after hearing me speak at Sedona Yoga Festival. I was asking the same questions his potential publisher had been asking (and he didn’t know how to answer!) Douglas quickly figured out that I could help him answer those questions – and rewrite the book. (He had written it twice already!)

Through our work together in the VIP Writing Mentorship, Douglas re-wrote the book, this time for a more main-stream audience. While the original publisher who had expressed interested in the book decided to pass on publishing it, Penguin decided it was perfect for what they wanted to bring to market.

Buy The Book

More about Douglas Gentile:

Dr. Douglas Gentile is an award-winning research scientist, educator, author, and is professor of psychology at Iowa State University. His experience includes over 30 years conducting research with children and adults. He has authored over 140 peer-reviewed scientific journal articles, including studies on the positive and negative effects of mass media on children in several countries, video game addiction, and mindfulness practices for reducing anxiety and increasing happiness. He has written several books on similar topics.

He is a Fellow of the American Psychological Association, the Association for Psychological Science, the Society for the Psychological Study of Social Issues, and the Society for Personality and Social Psychology. He was honored with the Distinguished Lifetime Contributions Award to Media Psychology and Technology by the American Psychological Association, and he was named one of the Top 300 Professors in the United States by the Princeton Review.

In addition, he is an ordained Zen Buddhist monk and meditation teacher who leads retreats and has written and narrated the best-selling audiobook Buddhism 101: How to Walk Easily over Rough Ground and Meditation: The Busy Person’s Guide to Cultivating Compassion and Positive Mind States.

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Do You Want to Be an Author AND a Speaker?

Let’s face it, books and speaking go hand-in-hand. Many of my authors dream of speaking to audiences and sharing their messages. Ideally also being able to sell books, gain clients, and build their impact.

Is that you too?

It is me!

My first “gig” was when I was about five years old, speaking from stage for the school talent show. (I recited a milk commercial with a very unwilling fifth grade boy. All he had to do was stand there and scowl – he was marvelous!)

It wasn’t until years after that I realized… the reason he didn’t want to do it was that MOST people are afraid of public speaking. (Even though he didn’t have to say a word!)

Is that you too?

I’ve always loved speaking from stage. And yes, people ask if I can sing, dance, or act. The answer is no to all three. I only sing for my kids, can barely walk without falling over, and have only acted in class plays in school!

What I do have that so many people don’t have is this:

Speaker training.

And no, that doesn’t mean voice lessons! Speaker training isn’t about correctly pronouncing words or memorizing long speeches. It’s about bringing the best of your qualities to the forefront and elevating them, turning up the dial, so you can capture the hearts of your audience – in the back of a huge auditorium, in an intimate room, or through a webcam.

Thankfully, being a good speaker is something that you can learn.

Keep Reading!

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Are You Using Stinkin’ Thinkin’ as an Excuse Not to Write?

It’s not a newsflash that I love my watercolor paints. I spend time every single day thinking about painting. Ideally, I spend time every day also, actually, PAINTING.

Sometimes I even dream about it at night…

When I started this watercolor journey, I really wanted to be able to paint for hours at a time. Uninterrupted. In the flow.

However, I was physically able to SIT for about 15 minutes at a time. (Surgery-gone-sideways, October 2020.)

Then as I could sit for longer periods of time, my days also filled up with getting back to the tasks of motherhood, chores, and my business.

For a while, I wasn’t painting AT ALL because if I could only do it for 20 or 25 minutes, it wasn’t “worth” it.

What stinkin’ thinkin’!

Most days, Ben is able to help me grab the time between Little Bean going to bed and the time dinner is ready. Approximately… 20 minutes.

And in those near-daily 20 minutes, I have been able to complete DOZENS of paintings. But more than that, I’ve clocked about 75 HOURS of pure enjoyment.

Because I changed my stinkin’ thinkin’ about how it wasn’t “worth” painting if I couldn’t do it for long stretches of time.

The same is true for your writing.

Yes, you may WANT to write for two HOURS a day. But writing for 15 minute a day, every day, can actually get you MORE writing done than scrambling to find two uninterrupted hours in your week.

The math

15 x 7 = 1.75 hours actually COMPLETED.

OR

2 hours that you tried (and maybe couldn’t) find.

So let me ask you:

Where will you find fifteen minutes today to work on your writing?

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What Actions Can You Take Today that Are a Gift to Your Future Self?

I attended a sales event from Jennifer Diepstraten in 2019. One thing she said had REALLY stuck with me:

What actions do you do TODAY are really for your future self, five years from now?

I find that English and verb tenses, especially the future tense, don’t play nicely together. So let’s look at this in hindsight:

What habits or actions do you do today that were set in motion years ago?

Me:

  • Ten years ago in July, I decided I would send a weekly newsletter on Tuesdays. I’ve never missed a week.
  • Ten years ago this August, I said yes to a first date with a guy whose online profile didn’t meet my “minimum requirements”. We’ve been married five years and have two beautiful children.
  • Seven years ago next month, I said yes to an opportunity I HAD been saying no to for the prior three years. I joined the Sassy Mastermind (year-long) and met 100% of my best friends, built a business from scratch, and have touched thousands of lives.
  • Nine months ago, I decided I would get up no later than 6:30 am to work on my business – taking training, writing emails, designing courses – before the house woke up.

Notice in this list, that some were a one-time decision that bred a long-term habit. And some were a one-time decision that changed the trajectory of my life.

So, let me ask you again:

What can you do TODAY that your future self will thank you for?

Here’s one action that you can take – that’s pretty easy, low risk, and can yield HUGE rewards:

Register a virtual ticket to “Brew Your Book – LIVE: Stop ‘Percolating’ on Your Message and FINALLY Write Your Book”.

It happens this weekend – Thursday, Friday, and Saturday.

You don’t have to travel.

Heck! You don’t even have to get dressed. Come in your PJs! Let your dog snooze under your chair.

And let me pour into you.

For three days, let me help you uncover your message. Let me help you dive deep into what you want to BE in the world. Together, we’ll dig into story and storytelling – so you can share your message. And we’ll also put together a custom plan for how you’re going to write YOUR book.

Register Here.

Now, you might be thinking:

I can’t just clear three days in my life last minute!!!

Well…

You could if you HAD to. Like if somebody got sick.

And you could if you WANTED to. If you really, REALLY wanted to.

Here’s what I want you to do:

Commit to your future self. Take this action NOW.

And then, if you know you’ll miss some (or all) of the event, I want you to grab the All-Access Pass – the recordings – and commit to watching them.

(BTW: last week was a 2-day virtual retreat for a business training that I’M in. I knew I couldn’t attend much of it live. So I watched what I could and I’ve scheduled the recordings into my plan for the next two weeks. My future self will thank me.)

Here’s what you’ll learn at the event:

  • The steps to uncover your powerful message so you can move your readers – and change their lives.
  • Exactly how to write powerfully and easily – even if you think you’re not a writer or struggle with expressing yourself in written word.
  • What needs to go into the book and what doesn’t so that your reader feels that you understand them – and are here to help.
  • How to deal with procrastination, writer’s block, overwhelm, and lack of motivation so that you’re able to keep going – moving forward and making steady progress – even if your inspiration gets derailed.
  • My proven method to consistently finding the time to write no matter how busy your life is!
  • How to engage your readers – from the first page – so that they keep reading, and so they recommend your book to their friends.
  • How to share your message in a way that your readers will remember – even if they forget the steps of your process, acronym, or system.
  • Why writing a book is the best way to be seen as an expert – and how having a book can open doors to interviews, speaking gigs, and more clients.
  • And more…

PLUS, there will be a ton of time to work on your writing. To practice and get feedback.

COMING to the event is a gift from your current self to your future self. It’s a gift to the sacredness of your Message. It’s a gift to your readers.

Register Your Virtual Ticket

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How long does it REALLY take to write a book?

There are people in the book coaching industry who promise that you can write a book in a VERY short timeframe – I’m talking two days (that start with S and end with y) or as little as 30 days.

Let’s be real here:

You CAN write a book in those timeframes.

But it isn’t a message-driven book. The one that has been percolating in your head, the one that’s on your heart, the one that you KNOW you’re meant to share.

Writing a book in two days isn’t a book. It’s a booklet, maybe, or a pamphlet. Something tiny.

You, want to write a book that will change lives.

It’s not about how LONG the book is – because I’ve seen small books do that. And I’ve seen big books do that.

It’s about the message.

It’s about putting your heart on the page and telling your reader:

  • I care about you.
  • I’ve been where you are.
  • I can help you.
  • You matter.
  • You are seen.
  • You are loved.
  • You are not alone.

And THAT book… that book deserves your time, effort, energy, and dedication.

THAT is the book that I coach with my clients in the VIP Writing Mentorship.

How long does it take?

A year.

Now, before you start thinking, “A year! That doesn’t apply to ME!” let me talk you off that ledge.

For some people, a year feels unfathomable. Far too long. You want it quick-quick in double time. YOU are the person who COULD write a message-driven book, 75,000 perfect words, in a month. Six weeks, tops.

For other people, that year feels too short. You’ll need at least three years to pour over every word, carefully cultivate every sentence, dive DEEP into the research. Actually… make that five years, you need more time.

There are always outliers. But in my years of coaching authors, from the hundreds of people I’ve coached…

It.
Takes.
A.
Year.

You need TIME to uncover your message. To sit with it. To let it speak to you. To figure out HOW to share it on the page.

You need PRACTICE to learn to write stories. To learn how to share your knowledge in a way that the reader can receive, remember, act upon.

You need MENTORSHIP to see how the ideas flow together, come into the path that you take your reader on, moving through how you help them. You need someone to watch the big picture, while you concentrate on the writing.

You need STRUCTURE for the arc of the book as a whole. What goes where, how to cultivate transitions, when to repeat yourself, and when to let it stand.

You need WRITING TIME carved from your life. Not giving up the important things like baking cupcakes with your kid or your Tuesday park trips, but also not mindlessly watching TV and avoiding your book.

You need ENCOURAGEMENT on what you’re doing – and you don’t have to do it alone. It’s more than just the rah-rah of successfully writing for five days in a row, or the detailed feedback about what’s working (or not) in your writing. It’s help figuring out YOUR writing process – and guiding you to be better.

These things can’t be rushed. They also don’t have to take forever!

Most of the authors who come to me in the VIP Writing Mentorship have been “working” on their book 2-3 years. That’s writing off and on, maybe a draft, usually somewhere less than 30 pages. They’ve got ideas. They know they NEED to write – but they’re stuck.

And oh-so-tired of being stuck!

If you’ve been following me for a while, you know that the VIP Writing Mentorship was once just a 4-month program. Except… my authors would need to renew. Twice. 4×3=12.

So the VIP Writing Mentorship is a year. A year of uncovering your Message, learning to tell stories, putting it all together, doing the daily work of WRITING, getting feedback, knowing who you’re writing for, and encouragement from me – and your fellow authors.

Enrollment will open at “Brew Your Book – LIVE! Stop ‘Percolating’ on Your Message and FINALLY Write Your Book.” And the folks who are in the room will get the first opportunity to fill my five open mentorship spots.

While you’re AT the event, you’ll get to experience what the Mentorship is like. You’ll see (some) of my PROVEN system and get to experience mentorship, feedback, and encouragement. Plus so much FUN. (Seriously, the Friday night session is going to be AMAZING!)

There’s still room to come to the event. Because even if the Mentorship isn’t a good fit right now, you’ll walk away from Brew Your Book Live knowing how to write a compelling book that will share your message – and transform lives. You’ll also walk away with a customize writing plan so you have confidence you’ll actually write the book (instead of just talking about it!)

Register Here.

After the event, if there are still any spots in the VIP Writing Mentorship, I’ll reach out to you and invite you to learn more and enroll.

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