Are You Afraid of Being Seen?
You have a message to share with the world. And you’re taking steps to get it out—writing your book, launching a bestseller campaign, creating a business, building an email list, being active on social media.
You’re harboring a deep-seated fear of having all those efforts actually pay off. You want to make a difference in the world but… do you really have to be a celebrity to do that?
Friend, I’m with you.
For every time when I’m like:
I’m so SICK of being invisible! I’m awesome. My work is awesome! My message matters. I TOTALLY should be serving more clients, having more interviews, and being Out There more! I’m going to be more visible! Post more. More videos. More! More! More!
There’s an equal day that says:
Oh look… my comfy sweatshirt. I don’t want to get out there today—it’s too hard, takes too much time, doesn’t yield results, and I *might* have to comb my hair and put on makeup. I think I’ll hide behind my computer instead.
Being visible is scary. It means that you’re out there in a place where you CAN be judged. (It doesn’t mean you WILL be judged. It just means you COULD be judged!)
So what do you do?
1. Remember your message.
Every time I want to stay in quiet anonymity, I remember MY message:
To help my authors share their messages so that they can be a positive impact on the world.
How can I do that if I’m hiding? So I think about you, my friend, and that if I’m invisible to you, you’re invisible to who needs YOU the most.
2. You’re not as big of a deal as you think.
We’re a big deal to ourselves and we’re a big deal to those closest to us. We want to make a Big Impact on the people we’re meant to serve.
But how many people IS that really?
100? 1,000? 50,000? 250,000?
There are BILLIONS of people on the planet. And the biggest influencers I personally know (not the “celebrities I’m guessing about) have an honest-to-God reach of well under a million people.
Be a HUGE deal to the people to whom you can impact… and forget the rest.
3. Do the thing that scares you.
I’m not talking about jumping out of planes or getting cozy with spiders! Do the visibility thing that scares you.
If that’s writing your book, then talk to me. If that’s being interviewed, then get booked on a podcast. If it’s emailing your list, queue up a holiday message. If it’s video, swipe on that mascara.
Me? It’s hands-DOWN video. I don’t have a good reason why it bothers me so much; I LOVE speaking in person so it’s not stage fright.
I’ve worked on this one a lot in 2018. It started with the short-lived Coffee With Kim on Monday mornings in my Facebook Group. (The whole POINT was that it was too early for me to deal with hair and makeup.)
And lately… all my efforts feel like they’ve netting zilch since I’m back to shaking in my boots around video.
Being fearful of being seen, noticed, judged, commented on.Are you scared of being seen? I get it. 5 tips to overcome that and get your message out. Click To Tweet
This past week I took a class about how to profit from Facebook lives. One of the guest experts pushed ALL my hot-mess buttons around makeup, clothing, and clutter in the background of the video. About how if even ONE of those things was “off” then I wouldn’t be seen as the expert I am, that my message would be lost, that I’d be doomed.
(Okay, she didn’t REALLY say it that way but the message felt very harsh to me. It pushed my buttons!)
So what’s a writer to do?
I remembered my tip #2—I’m not nearly as big of a deal in the world as I THINK I am. Whew.
I remembered that I have been seen, and judged, on video. 96,600+ views as a matter of fact. Trolls and thumbs down all over the place. (I turned off comments YEARS ago.)
And here’s the thing:
And (and this is key) I’m letting an old fear keep me from being seen and getting my message to the people who ACTUALLY need me.
4. Remember WHY you want to be seen.
Frankly, this is the most important:
WHY does it matter that you’re getting out there? WHY does it matter that you’re sharing your message?
Doing interviews and Facebook lives and videos (and posts and social media and WHATEVER) is the vehicle – the but heart of the matter is your message. Your message ties it all together, and makes DOING those activities worthwhile.
It’s not about the book or the video or the podcast. It’s about the person who is receiving that information; the person you want to help. The one for whom your message is meant for.
5. What’s getting in your way (and getting in the way of your message)?
For me, back when I was The Outdoor Princess, my brand got in the way. I was so concerned with wearing pink, having the makeup done for the videos, and wearing a tiara, I forgot my message:
Sharing the love of the outdoors (and the technical how to’s) so people could make happy memories.
When I started this business… same story. The brand of On The Beach Publishing was fun. A lot of fun. And it wasn’t authentic. I was too concerned with being beachy and not concerned ENOUGH with my message. (And it’s old, remember! New Frontier Books is a MUCH better fit for me.)
Today, I’ve released (most) of that worry. While I still prefer to wear mascara and makeup in videos, I know that when I’m sharing my message and being 100% Kim, you, my friend, will hear me. You’ll hear my message, you’ll see me in all the right ways, and together, we’ll bring your message—your book—to the world.
In the last few weeks of 2018, let’s concentrate on getting your message out there in a big way. A great place to start is with my Bestseller Now Kickstarter Package (it’s free!) so you can learn how your message impact everything you do in your book (and business) and how to uncover it.
- When the “Template” Doesn’t Work to Write Your Book - May 29, 2023
- The Procrastinator’s Guide to Writing Your Book - May 23, 2023
- Running Out of Time to Write? You’ll Have More Time After THIS - April 25, 2023